More a rant than anything, sorry just venting, but I suppose also seeking some advice and support.

37 M , married to a beautiful 35 year old F. We’ve been married 6 years, together 16. Our sex life has always been great, with a few bumps in the road due to life stresses, but overall, no complaints, and I wouldn’t say vanilla (in comparison to my friendship group)

She’s known about my hotwifing desires for around 5 years now, and we’ve had numerous conversations some good, some frustrating, but never judging and never a no from her.

I’ve posted before on an old account, we’ve actually had moments of roleplaying it, she will tease me with it sometimes, but we’ve never acted on it.

The other night when in bed, she’s on top of me in foreplay, grinding on me and we’re making it. One of my favourite fantasies is to imagine her doing just this as I watch from the chair we have set up at the end of the bed. Maybe I read the mood wrong, I don’t know, but I asked if I could talk her through a dirty scenario (like before) she says yes. So I told her I wanted her to imagine she’s grinding on someone just like this, kissing, feeling his hard cock pressed on her, and I’m sitting back on the chair watching.

She instantly sort of froze and just said “I don’t want to do that” we tried to carry on and the mood just dropped, so we called It.

I apologised for making her feel uncomfortable the next day, we’ve had great sex since and in day to day we’ve joked about various little things to do with sharing her (as we do) but…what now?

TLDR Wife hott and cold with the idea, do I just forget it completely until she brings it up?