Hello folks. I would like to share my our journey into this so far and ask for advice at the end as well. We're in the really early stages so we're kinda groping in the dark at times.

Background.

For context and a bit of background, we're both in our 40s, have small kids. Sex is still great although we both admit that we could use some spice at times. I love my wife. She's the type who only wants me and would always say that she can't imagine kissing somebody else. You probably heard this line. :)

My hotwife kink started when my wife had an emotional affair with a coworker a few years ago. She said he was just a close friend and I didn't mind. I got mad when she started being secretive about him and made her realize that it's wrong so she ended it. I didn't get jealous though. Afterwards, during intercourse, I kinda asked her if she's thought of fucking this guy. I thought it was a good idea to ask because she was at a horny state. Turned out it's not. She cried and got mad. Why was I thinking like that? Do I still love her? Do I want to give her away? I assured her no it's not that at all. I said sorry and didn't bring it up again.

I did bring it up again just a few months ago. But more to let her realize that it's a kink or a fantasy of mine. It doesn't mean that we have to do it or she has to fulfill it. So she let it be.

Begin.

My wife works at a small company. There was this new guy (let's call him John) mid 20s who she noticed checking her out. At first, she didn't care. She always says she's not attracted to young guys. She prefers older men. Anyway, it went on for a couple more days and she started noticing John even more. That he's cute. Built like an athlete. She has a weak spot for big men and their hugs which I can't provide her.

Anyway, she gave him her number so they can still chat after work. She became fond of him. I said that's a good way to make work less stressful. I asked her what she wants from John. She said just the chat and company. It made her feel good that a young, buff, cute guy is interested at her. I said ok. As long as she's not going to hide anything from me, I'm ok with whatever she's doing. She agreed.

Progress.

Speeding things up a bit. One time she said she wanted to get to know John more face to face. So I agreed to let her drive him home. John was fun company and she would touch my wife's arm or hands from time to time. She said that he's giving her the validation that she craves. That she's still attractive and hot.

I asked her again what she wants from John. She said she wants to hear from him that he's into her. That he likes her. Is that all? I asked if she wants to maybe kiss him? She said her kisses are only for me. How about hugs? She said yes, she could go for a hug especially with his big arms. Ok.

At this point, she also told John that I know about them, that I'm ok with her being with him for company. I don't think John is cool about it. I don't think he likes it when my wife mentions me. But he likes my wife so he lets it be.

Now my wife's work is remote and she would only go to the office once a week so mostly their conversation is through chat. She would let me read their conversation though so I'm happy.

Eventually, as I expected, their banter becomes naughtier. And my wife seems to be enjoying it more. She likes teasing John. I like it too. It's the naughty side that I thought my wife doesn't have. However, they started using those "View Once" messaging. I told my wife that I should be able to read them. She said it's for security, she doesn't want anybody to be able to take a screenshot of their conversation. She just tells me what they're talking about when I ask and doesn't mind me going over her shoulder to watch what they're saying.

As I expected, John wanted to level up. He wants to chat with my wife through a video call. So they did. My wife was not expecting anything. She's not into cyber. Afterwards, she told me that John kept pestering her about seeing her in a lingerie (it came up during chat) but she didn't do it. I asked her if she wants to. She said that it's for my eyes only. John would chat her again to say he couldn't sleep and that he can't get my wife out of his mind. Ego booster for my wife so she gave in. She wore one of her lacy bodysuits and went on cam again for him. I was shocked... in a good way. She wore a piece where it's sheer on the nipples part. John liked it a lot. Even showed her how hard she made him. My wife was shocked at the size. His cock is way bigger than mine. What I didn't expect my wife to do was to lower the straps so she can show her bare tits to him. What happened to for my eyes only? Hahaha. I was so horny when she did that (they were doing the call in the walk-in closet with the door slightly open so I can see from an angle). But that's it, she wouldn't show him her pussy even if he kept asking. That was all she's comfortable doing. I asked her how she felt afterwards. She said she still doesn't like doing it in cam but it felt empowering. We had a hot and passionate quickie afterwards. I did ask if she wanted to feel John's cock inside her while we're doing it but she still says no. She doesn't think she's ok having sex with other men. Ok.

Then there's the post-event talk the day after with John. He's giving her sexual attention now (via chat) and my wife is loving it. Again, the idea that this young, cute, buff guy, with a big dick is giving her this kind of attention is boosting her ego.

I asked her again what she wants from John. It seems that she's been eating a lot of her words lately. She just grins. Would you like for him to kiss you? She said she won't mind. How about touch his cock.. or taste it? She said no. She's fine with hugs and kisses.

Closing.

Anyway, here's where this long-ass story will end for now. so they're having these sexual banters. She would say things like wanting to ride his cock but I think it's just her teasing him. I don't know. But I'm fine either way. They would chat while working, letting each other know they can't take their minds off each other. So it's getting steamy but I don't see any signs of feelings being developed so that's good.

So I came up with a couple of requirements. And I asked her to discuss this with John...

1. To move away from the view-once messaging. Have a normal chat conversation and just set the expiry to 24 hours. I'm hoping this would make her conscious to avoid developing feelings for the guy.
2. If there are going to be anything sexual happening physically (make-out, tits playing, blowjob, etc.), she should take a picture or video for me.

Are these selfish asks? My wife thinks this will scare John away so she's trying to push back. I think my wife likes the idea of her having a playmate, but she's not to keen on me being a part of it. She doesn't want me to meet John. She doesn't want me to be in the same room when they video chat.

I don't know folks, do you see any red flags that we need to avoid or change course? My wife really likes this boy and I want him for her. I just feel left out in this experience if my asks aren't met.