I am the hubby of an awesome wife, love her tremendously, but just wish she would commit to playing with others. We are later in our 40s, and have kids that suck out the sexual energy. We have a couple older ones transitioning into adulthood and a 13 year old going through teen girl drama with friends.

So how does this all affect our sex life?? Well it weighs on the mind of my wife. She is a great mom but worries too much about other people, particularly the kiddos. Busy mind = less than busy sex drive.

So this goes in spurts. A few weeks ago we were wild and wanton with role play and dirty freaky stuff. About once a month I get that hope that she wants to fuck others, but once she gets it out of the system she goes cold to the idea again. We’ve talked about it outside the bedroom too, and more than once she said let’s do it. But then just a couple weeks ago after our lusty rampage, she said no way, don’t ask again.

This isn’t new for us, even been at this for a decade and in fact two different times invited guys over to play. They both ghosted when it came time to show up. It took a year before she invited guy number two. She even told him she wanted to play solo. He ghosted. Those were big bruises to her self confidence.

Since then we have watched porn and she quite frankly got me turned on to bi! Yes I admit I want to try that and we talked about other couples too. That was of interest to her because she was concerned about her having sex with another guy affecting our relationship. For me it is strong, and I am confident in my desires. I’m not worried about it and told her that. But she thought with me playing with another guy or girl, she wouldn’t feel guilty. Heck, I’d be happy just sitting back and watching, or just hearing about it later. I am a very open person.

Anyway, it seems to have been a very long journey. Should I just throw in the towel and give up trying? I am curious if others can relate to this. Clearly relationship comes first, and it is strong. It’s just the mental block to her libido messing up our shot at the lifestyle.

We just need to break the ice.