Hi all. I'm looking for some guidance and thoughts around where my wife and I are currently at.

TLDR: Should I compromise my wants to watch for her desires to go solo?

We have been discussing her being with another man for about 18 months. Like many wife's mine was like WTF are you talking about. It wasn't a flat out no, but not a great deal if interest.

Since then we have role played in the bedroom, watched porn together and gone to bars to check out other guys (no flirting just perving 😅).She has always been hesitant to take the next step, ups and downs and more than not me pushing too hard in the early stages

Recently we have been looking into her getting an erotic massage. We have spoken to a few guys but nerves got the better of her. Until last night , when she flipped everything upside down.

She has come across a guy online. Very interested and basically said "fuck what am I waiting for, I'm doing it.

Now the only issue for me, is that we have always discussed me being there with her. But she is nervous about me being there for the 1st time. How I would react, how she would feel, would she be too focused on me. She is happy to take videos and photos fore to look at. Originally this would have been a flat no for me, but I can definitely see where she is coming from. We have been together over 20 years and I can understand her concerns about me watching.

We have an amazing sex life, and great communication. So I am looking at comprising and letting her go solo for the first time. The thought of her being satisfied by another man drives me crazy, but there is a small FOMO that is lingering in my head.

At this stage I'm leaving towards her going solo, but would love some advise or others thoughts who have experienced the same thing.

My wife also has some questions but she will post separately and would love some other ladies thoughts and advise.