My wife brought up me watching because I have performance issues if I'm nervous. So I was saying I didn't know if I could do a MFM.

If the plan was for me just to watch I think I would be rock hard and wanting to join because I went into it not feeling pressured to do anything. I don't like the idea of just watching though or her even being okay with that. It stung for her to suggest it because I expected her to say she would stop. I was turned on simultaneously.

I feel like if we did anything and I wasn't visibly aroused and confident with what I wanted her to do. I don't think she would be able to get into the actual sex and I could see it causing a lot of emotional turmoil afterwards.

I see a lot of guys especially first timers saying they don't get hard. Why is this? Is it the pressure of wanting to get hard so she knows it's okay that causes the anxiety or something else? Maybe your brain is horny but your dick won't cooperate just thinking about ramifications that aren't sexual in nature? I don't think having another man in the room on it's own would be a problem but I could see that causing it for some if they allowed themselves to think about it too much. Was anybody like this the first time but got better with experience?