My girlfriend is comfortable with me having these thoughts, the dirty talk, and in general perfectly fine with me being turned on by thoughts of her with another man. She's not gung ho to go out and find people to fuck but said maybe one day it could happen. All things on her side are pretty much solid.

The issue is, every so often I get pangs of feeling like I'm doing something wrong, or setting myself up for ruin. It turns me on so much most of the time but the post jut clarity that happens is intense, even though it only lasts for a short whole after. Feelings of not being a proper partner and even if being a proper man and embarrassment of it potentially getting out.

My question: For those who are comfortable with themselves for loving this stuff, how did you get to that level of comfort and acceptance with yourself?