Hi there. I’m an Asian wife and started hotwife lifestyle. Before marriage I was really a conservative girl until I discovered my husband kink. We really did not talk about it I just found out based on his search history on the internet and porn theme (hotwife, cheating). It was not my thing back then but I tried to understand him so I also researched and watch porn about that. Things developed from just ready or watching porn into chatting with guys on a dating app. My husband has access on my phone so I know he can read all my chats and I did not see any changes on him except being so much more caring and intense in sex.

The chatting led to meet ups and the first meet up was actually a test for my hubby if he really wanted this lifestyle or not. Because if he was not into this he would have stopped me that day but he didn’t. First meet up I was so nervous and not sure what to do because that’s the first time I’ll be seeing a man with sexual intent.

So I met the guy and one thing led to another and I ended up on his apartment. I was not really experienced in sex so I don’t know what to do so I just let the guy handled me. The sex was totally different compared to my husband. Pure lust with lots of dirty talking and was rough. Totally opposite to my husband.

I went home after that with mixed feelings. Some feeling of guilt but with a feeling of something different. The guy chatted with me about the deed and I know my husband can read that and again nothing changed to my husband except for a more passionate sex and all. I guess he liked it. The guy wanted to see me again but I declined because I was afraid seeing him again I might develop some feelings. I know myself so I tried to avoid it.

A month or two passed I did not visited the dating app and I noticed my husband became workaholic again and not so into sex. I even caught him masturbate watching porn. Don’t get me wrong. He is very good husband, doesn’t smoke, drugs, drink etc and very caring. It’s just about his kink.

I must admit that after that date with the guy I kept on thinking about that and our sex always pops out in my mind. I missed it. So I went again and met two guys in a span of one month and had an awesome sex. I even filmed it for my hubby to see but again we never talked about it.

I don’t know what to say but a lot of my first time in sex I experienced it with my bull. I was not good in giving heads but it became my favorite foreplay with my bull. My first cum in face, first cum in mouth, first swallow I didn’t it with my bulls.

After meeting 4 guys I meet the fifth bull. This one became my regular and as of now we’ve been seeing each other for one year but we are like LDR relationship because he’s 3 hours drive. So I have some questions that need some answers. 1. Has anyone of you ladies develop feelings on your bull? Does your partner know? 2. Was I so bad and unfair that I let other guy had my first times instead of my husband? 3. Do you have the same feelings like me like having two different personalities? A personality of a married girl and a personality of a bitchy type girl?

If I’m with my husband my personality becomes a wife but I notice that once I meet my bull I change into a sex daredevil that is up to any sex challenges.

Thanks for your response. Happy holidays.