My fiancée (22F) and I (22M) have been interested in the lifestyle since about a year into dating. We tried a couple different things. She invited a couple guys over while we were long distance and kept me in the loop with pictures, the issue is that none of them were able to perform very well and she got frustrated with trying after the same guy couldn’t get it up twice in a row. We stopped and since then it’s been something we are always not too far from thinking about.

For both of us, the idea of her being fucked while I watch (or don’t for that matter) is about the hottest thing we can think of. It’s not about a feeling of inadequacy either. Our sex life is really good and healthy and I’m above average where it counts, I just want her to be able to be completely sexually free to explore whatever she wants, and I think it’s a foolish and selfish idea to restrict a woman to one person for the rest of her life when she gets married. My soon to be wife deserves everything in the world, including other men. Happily she agrees and again, there’s no inadequacy and she repeatedly stresses that if she couldn’t have it, I would be “enough”. But there’s no reason she can’t have it so here we are.

I think we struggle most with the fact that everyone with really knowledge and respect of the lifestyle seems to be at least 10-15 years our senior. It’s hard to find a community to talk about it with that sort of age gap. If we had friends that were into hotwifing or even just were in an open relationship it would be so helpful. So I guess I have just a few questions:

1. As a young couple, how do we find likeminded people that are our age? I’m realizing that the best bet is probably online, but I wish we could actually get drinks and talk to people that we had this in common with.

2. How can we approach what we’re interested in with men our age? The vetting process is important to me, and everyone our age is interested in nothing but hookups. I’m just unsure what to do. Dating apps are useless and we’re in a college town where every guy remotely our age doesn’t want to have to meet the other guy before hooking up once and moving on.

3. Does anyone have any other general advice? As we’re moving into actually kicking this off for ourselves, I think we’ll take any help we can get.