A few months ago, I let my girlfriend know that I have fantasies about sharing her. During sex last night, she opened up and told me how hot she thinks the idea is. And then came the conversation about how everything would go down. We’ve got some questions and concerns about the unknown, and could use some insight.

1. We’re not sure how to find someone. She’s cautious about looking online. Ideally, she wants to meet someone in person. Her ideas were to either see if one of her coworkers would be interested, or go out to a bar to meet someone. I think that the coworker thing could be hot, it could get messy easily. I’m also worried that it’s going to be difficult to find someone in person that just so happens to be okay with what we’re looking for. Specifically we’re into the idea of a threesome, especially double penetration, which I’m not sure if the average guy from a bar would be comfortable with that. How do you guys find people to play with, and how hard is the process?

2. Our biggest fear is doing something that irrevocably “spoils” our relationship. I told her I think even if at any stage I get uncomfortable, I don’t think it would have a lasting effect on how I view her or anything, as long as we both respect the boundaries we put up and stop when one of us says stop. But then again, expectations are different than reality. For couples that have crossed a line that they didn’t know they had, and been uncomfortable when reality set in, did you have any trouble readjusting back to your “normal” view of your relationship?

3. Any other advice for a newbie couple? Problems that came up that were unexpected in the beginning that you had to navigate? Tips and things to look out for during the “dating” process?