My (34m) wife (41F) is incredibly coy and shy about her sexuality. She is unwilling to open up to me about what turns her on or what she fantasizes about. We have 3 kids, and I’m sure some of this is related to lack of sleep and stress of nursing our newest, but it’s awfully frustrating. She doesn’t admit to masturbating, and we have sex very infrequently (1x a month, max, usually much less, for years).

I’m bisexual (not active in many years), very high libido, extremely kinky (not much is off limits..), and really need to spice things up to keep urges at bay. I’ve told her she has a hall pass and is welcome to be with others, many times, but she clammers up when I bring it up (and eventually got pretty annoyed about it). I switched up the strategy a bit, to recommend a “normal threesome”, and that got some reaction out of her. She is a bit suspect because she knows I’m Bi, but I have no desires for hotwifing to scratch that itch. While we were having our occasional sex, she whispered in my ear, “you want me to suck his big dick?” in between her moans, and I fucking unloaded immediately in her. She wouldn’t talk about it since, and I haven’t asked because she’s obviously been nagged by me and seems to appreciate more vanilla descriptions to this kink. She knows for sure though, that I want her to be with other men.

What I do know about her sexual response (which isn’t much), is that she never cums from penetration, and only can cum from a vibrator or clitoral stimulation from her fingers. She says she goes weeks or months without masturbating, and hates the idea of porn (ugh). She does like to get frisky when family are staying with us, which is like super confusing because it has the risk of making for super awkward encounters with parents or siblings if they noticed.. and the only past sexual thing she admitted to when I asked her “where is the craziest place you’ve had sex”, was at the airport near the boarding gate (I mean that’s like super fucking risky…). She won’t bite about endowment of past lovers (I don’t know how many she has had). She gets off frequently by using my cum as lube while fingering herself clitorally (it’s how we got pregnant..). Doesn’t like protection. Maybe there’s more history here and a hidden fantasy of exhibition-related sex, but she seems to have such a low libido that I bet these are just a few random chance encounters she just kind of liked.

It’s just mind boggling that she is so closed off. She’s smoking hot, yoga build, huge boobs (DDD/G with the milk now), and incredibly pretty. I’ve unloaded my bank account to outfit her wardrobe with extremely hot and revealing clothes, and this is the only major progress I’ve made, since she will go out in these clothes. But our outings are super boring. I’ve dared her to try and get a free drink at the swanky restaurants we go to in the city, and she almost bit (did a lap then chickened out). I think it’s encouraging, and gives me mental fap material for sure! I just don’t know how to setup better dates to make this easier. We don’t have a large social life here (we’ve moved a LOT), and time out is limited due to babysitter options. There just aren’t enough ways to push this forward more in our current situation that are obvious to me. I need some inspiration.

I guess I’m just looking to hear some stories of how shy the wife was in the early days, and how much more she opened up to her sexuality (with details of how and hopefully how you got to full hotwifing).

Thanks in advance for anyone willing to share your story. It’ll go to good use haha.