Well the length got out of hand quickly. Tldr is I'm embracing my inner slut and now hubs calls me his sex goddess warrior queen and I'm ready to share a dick with him 😜

Hubs shared this kink of his with me in the summer. I was immediately horrified and felt so hurt that he would want to share me. It's been an absolute roller coaster since then, but after a month, month and a half of talking to him and reading about it, I finally realized it wasn't about him not being satisfied with me. It was about him wanting to see me buck my midwest nice-ladies-don't-like-sex upbringing and fulfill every fantasy I've ever had and just basically reclaim sex for myself, not for his pleasure or trying to make a baby. Just for me.

So I started like we all do, posting pics on here (on my own account, not this one 😏) accepting interesting chat requests and then eventually we made me a separate snap just for these guys (and hubs, ofc) one guy really caught my attention and I honestly thought I had crossed a line talking to him the way I was, sending him shower selfies saying I couldn't wait to hear back from him again etc. He lives several states away so at first it was just fantasy. Then one day my husband woke me up from a nap asking about the pictures and messages with this one guy. He had been going through my pictures to send himself some videos we took on my phone earlier that day, and he found it. I was so freaked out and stammering and stuttering and while he was talking to me he started touching me and before I knew it, he was inside of me and the look on his face was unforgettable. We fucked like 6 times that day.

That was the day it changed for me. The day I knew this wasn't about me not being enough or him just wanting to find a way to be with other people or something - he's really, actually turned on by the thought of me just taking exactly what I want, whether it's him or ten other men or women.

I'm still tend to be demure when we talk about it, even during sex, but when I'm properly buzzed enough I feel more comfortable talking about it. It still feels so wrong, like I'm hurting him or something, so I make sure to tell him at every opportunity that I love how hot it makes him, but this isn't something I would pursue without his pushing me. I guess I'm just really indoctrinated into traditional sex lives and marriages and it's taking awhile to unlearn all of that bs. Genuinely until he told me about this, I'd never even considered or maybe even knew that there were other ways to have a successful marriage. I thought any relationship that involved other people sexually was deviant and gross. We'd both been looking to spice things up but didn't really know how to talk about it with each other (again, gotta love that super xtian upbringing for both of us 🙄) until he told me about this. We've had the most intense sex of our lives since then.

We went to the local swinger/sex club for the first time in October, for our 8th anniversary 😅 we've been two more times since then and I blew him in the main room and we had incredible sex in the semi private room both times...it was dead at the club both times so only a few people there but we're hoping to eventually use the bed in the main room that has cameras trained on it 😍🤣

This really got away from me but the gist is...I'm ready to find someone real, local, and ready to be a third with us. We're on feeld but haven't connected with anyone close enough to realistically get together with any time soon. At the very least I want to kiss someone in front of him...but we just don't get the chance to go out very often with 2 little ones at home. I guess I'm posting tonight because we were supposed to go out but childcare fell through and I'm disappointed lol.

Anyway, I'm gonna go have a drink and smoke a bowl and think about how hard I'm gonna ride my husband tonight. Don't give up on your kinky dreams friends 🥂