RECAP: A couple of days ago, I posted about seeing my married neighbor posting a single male profile on a swingers website. We are close to both of them. I wasn’t sure what to do.

Continuing…

My husband and my neighbor “X” went out to a bar to grab a beer. My husband asked X directly about the profile. (He left me out of it and said that he was the one who saw it.) My husband told him that we “dabble” with threesomes, which is how he saw his profile. (Not a lie but not the whole truth.)

What my husband (and I) learned…

They have been married for 27 years and have one child who is 24. (We knew that.) What we didn’t know was that for the past 5 years, they have not had sex because she had lost interest in it. For about 3 years before that, they had sex about twice a year. They refuse to get divorced and, after talking about this for almost 3 years, decided that he can find a “girlfriend”. Someone for sexual needs only. My husband tried to be as empathetic as he could.

THE BIG QUESTIONS: I do find X very attractive and we are very close friends with both of them. My husband and I discussed the obvious. We’re going to let this simmer for a bit and revisit it after the weekend when we’ve had time to really think this though.

Do we make some sort of arrangement with our neighbors? Could this damage our friendship? Wouldn’t it be better if X really knew the person (me) instead of going through the whole dating process and trying to explain the situation to who knows how many potential FWBs?

On the surface, both my husband and I think it could be a good arrangement. But there is a lot to think about.