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Me and my wife have talked about her and someone else it turns me on at the thought and she was talking to people and reading messages turned me on so much but when the possibility of her actually meeting someone became weeks away I got nervous or scared and backed out and wife let it be but I still think the idea of it is hot af lol what do I do? Anyone been in this position before?
Some things are just meant to be fantasies and that’s okay. But like the other person asked, what made you nervous and scared? Are their things you could do to ease into it more or alleviate that?
Those are natural feelings. We’ve been in the lifestyle for about five years and I still get nervous before hooking up.
That’s interesting and I totally understand. When we got started, I wanted to have zero relationship or communication or getting to know the other person and just wanted to fuck because I didn’t know how I would feel about the whole lifestyle (attachment, etc). Now I like to make a connection. It’s more for my own safety and trust, but also makes the mind fuck so much better (which I love), and I know that person will respect my marriage as well as me.
You can read about our first (and second on our page). There’s apprehension on both sides me worried my hubs would see me different or less, him me falling in love. Neither happened our communication, sex life and experiences have grown exponentially. We have many amazing adventures together with both singles and couples.
Another learning lifestyle lesson for me was that it can’t always be tit for tat. Have to respect what each others’ comfort levels are and that’s not always the same.
It’s a good way to dip your toes in. Talking and doing are two different realities and bring different emotions.
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What about trying a lifestyle club? You can watch others, see how you feel? Maybe she just makes out or flirts, and then you have sex with each other?