Before warnings about red flags and us not being ready save it because I'm not even pursuing this ATM. I was turned on by the idea, decided it wasn't healthy for me and I'm kind of over it for now.

I don't consider myself dominant or submissive. When I see people say they're a dom it's like role playing. Silly and to me creepy with them calling women things like babygirl. To each their own. Admittedly I can be a control freak but it doesn't come into play with sex so much. Women taking charge with some things can turn me on like if I'm laying on the couch and she just decides to ride my face. Nothing crazy. I'm impatient about getting my way and jealous.

We started talking about a third for a MFM after porn. Even seeing how wet she was from watching porn made me jealous but turned me on. She first mentioned me watching when I said something about the possibility of not being able to perform in the situation.

I would call her personality submissive. She will get mad and argue with me about things but seems to want to make everybody happy. Because of that I didn't trust her to follow rules being alone with another guy. But I felt like I would rather deal with that after the fact. So before we met she was promiscuous but it was guys coming onto her and her probably never wanting to tell them no.

I wanted to 'get it over with' and see how I felt. So one day I told her to put something slutty on and go fuck a stranger. I gave her condoms but the way she is she probably wouldn't use them if the guy objected. She had on a microdress with no panties. She got one guy to rub her pussy but he was wanting to meet later. Part of the appeal for me after considering it was my feelings of inadequacy not being able to perform on command if I felt pressured like that, so the idea of a stranger being able to and fucking her played on that. So when she called talking about meeting later I was just like fuck off.

We had issues because I was forcing her to do something out of character like throwing herself at guys and I felt like she wasn't trying hard enough.

I wanted to ask if A) submissive is even the right word for this. As it is unless this can be changed with counselling I can never really trust her. How can you ever trust a woman who is submissive to that extent? People say a benefit of this is trust and communication and I can tell you that this won't magically grant you that.

B) In your relationship is the wife submissive? Or is it in a grey area like I might be? To me if a woman is submissive she is going to rely more on the husband to initiate things and tell her who to fuck. I think in our case she wanted that but maybe felt ashamed or embarrassed begging strangers to fuck her. She would probably be happy to fuck a stranger that I just brought home and told her to.