I've been gone a couple weeks trying to get over this kink. I'm not trying to talk anyone out of it but since I posted about how none of the reasons I find this appealing are healthy, I've noticed people saying you can be into it for different reasons. I want to know reasons you're into it that you see as being healthy or acceptable.

I realized mine were jealousy, insecurity, and maybe even humiliation. I think the idea of her being with another guy is somewhat humiliating. The closest we came to her fucking another guy was me telling her to come onto random guys dressed like a slut. I told her to take condoms and do whatever she wanted to at the time. One guy rubbed her pussy and wanted to meet later, most acted like they thought it was some kind of setup. But I was more okay with not being there because I feel like a man's natural response to humiliation should be anger although I wasn't thinking this deep then, just that I would be more comfortable not being there. She preferred me there. One reason she gave was safety, but I suspect maybe exhibitionism too. She always liked having sex in places we could get caught even though it was usually uncomfortable and awkward for me normally. We got caught sometimes but she never said anything about being turned on by it. She would act shocked but we would finish unless it was the police pulling up. But she wanted me to be more in control of it because it's not really in her nature to throw herself at strangers. Before we were together I would have called her a slut but not because of that. It's her inability to tell men no. This could have caused problems if I wasn't there, but I felt like it would be worse if it was done in front of me.

All of these things are also the same reasons why I was so turned on by it.

The only "healthy" reason I was turned on by this, as it being something I'm willing to accept being turned on by is voyeurism. I've always had fantasies about directing porn with two attractive people. Being in the room for the sounds and smells of them fucking and telling them what to do. I've always had that fantasy, and I see some guys say similar things about their wives. Their personal porn star, different angles and everything. The reason I was more turned on by the idea of the woman being someone I have a family with and have feelings for, than a stranger has everything to do with the unhealthy reasons mentioned above.

Other things are things like waking up their competitive nature, and I think that's a better way to view it, and I understand what they mean, but I think the fact that you view them as competition is a sign of insecurity. And you're turned on by it. You just approach it differently than "cuckolds" who want to accept a role being inferior. Voyeurism for me wasn't the main thing about it that appealed to me, and that's the only reason I have seen that I would be okay accepting. I'm curious if guys are being honest how much of your attraction to it is that v. the other stuff. Or if there is anything else that I'm missing that turns you on about it. For wives here, have you ever thought of it like this?

I enjoyed sex from this when we talked about it, but I could take it or leave it. I have read over posts here, and I don't get aroused by reading it like I did. A couple of times talking to guys who would message me about fucking her I would have to wake her up to fuck. She's actually the one with the porn and mastubation problem. I think stopping this would improve sex with us. I'm not against the idea of bringing in someone else. She mentioned a woman which is fine too either as a threesome or just her but this wouldn't even satisfy the voyeur angle for me. If it helps add excitement I'm not against it. I'm not against a guy but atm I don't see this anything like I did a couple weeks ago and to get into it to the point I was then I would have to be focusing on these negative things.