So my GF and I have been ENM for 5 years now. One of us has generally met someone once every 2-3 months on average. 1st half of our relationship it was a little more me doing the adventuring, 2nd half its been more of her. I enjoy it a lot!

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What also has happened is that she is much more into the aspect of going out and having her own dates with a select guy or two that she really vibes with, than doing a threesome with me involved, me watching, or something like that. She is more sapiosexual, picky, and needs a connection to be interested in this lifestyle. She's not the kind of gal just into anon sex with random cocks at a party.

Anyways, there's a poly guy she has been seeing and they get along perfectly it sounds like. The sex is 10/10 and emotionally he is a really great match for her. My GF has always been against poly and I am not really into poly as well. But with him, she's sounds like she's opening up about the poly lifestyle.

I am very much into the ritual of reclamation sex, worshipping her, and everything about the horniness and angst you get seeing your partner having amazing sex. I love the anticipation and hearing her stories and seeing her videos and experiencing her when she is back home. I'd be happy to be involved as well, but also am comfortable with her doing solo dates.

In the past, my GF was open to videos on occasion. It's been less so lately. With this guy she is totally against the idea. Whenever I bring it up, she says that she doesn't want to feel like I'm using her as my kink dispenser. She wants to be in the moment with him and she doesn't think of him as "that kind of guy". It kind of feels like he's a separate boyfriend and there's zero thought about anything about me when they hang out. Like, this is something totally separate that she is enjoying.

They hang out for 4-5 hours both talking, having 2-3 rounds of sex, and cuddling. I'm struggling a little bit with her lack of interest in helping me out here. I understand totally that she has her own wants and desires. I don't want to be that pushy partner who drags their partner to a sex club because it's a one-sided desire.... we all know it happens with couples sometimes.

But on the other hand, I am being really patient with her being able to form such a deep emotional connection with amazing sex with someone else. I get *oh so* turned on by the stories, listening, watching... I *want* to be involved in her sex life whether It's me having to watch or me participating.

I'm not the jealous type... I also am the kind of guy that is totally comfortable giving his partner a long leash to adventure. But I don't like the way my GF is framing my wants and needs as if it's a way of "men manipulating women to be their kink dispensers".

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What do you all think?