So my wife and I meet a young man. Her and he started by chatting. He was a very patient guy and waited for a number of months until she felt comfortable and was thinking this is the one we are seeking. She explained to him. That we are seeking something long term (he said ok). So we finally meet up with and honestly it was fucking great. Everything went smooth, no awkward moments. It was like we had met before and was in sync.

So we meet him a number if times. Was good times. Even let him spend the night. She wanted him to be exclusive to us and we be exclusive to him. Meaning we are the only couple he meets and he is the only guy we meet. He said yes, he wants the same. He and I get along well. Have a lot of the same likes in common.

Now my wife does expect him to text her everyday or hold all day long texts conversations with her. After all he works and so do we. And we have kids to raise.

She will text him and sometimes it takes like 5 days to reply. Again, she isn't looking for a all day text conversation. But a text saying "hey how's your day" or "can't wait to see you again". Is definitely needed to keep her interest peaked.

We were supposed to meet on a Saturday. On Monday he says he is not feeling well. Ok, totally understandable. He tells her Friday he feels a little better a may be able to meet. Saturday comes. She texts him. I text him. And nothing. We don't get a text until almost 9pm that night. Saying he still wasn't feeling well.

Now I totally understand not feeling well. But waiting until almost 9pm the night we are supposed to meet?

So he feels better. Sends her a video she really liked. They are texting back and forth here and there (which is fine with her because again, she know he works and so we do to).

They text last wendsday as we are supposed to be meeting this Friday, he tells her he can't wait to see her and join us in the pool.

Here is it is Monday and we haven't heard from him since last Wendsday, that's 5 days. My wife has text him 3 times since Wednesday, no response. I text him once no response. Then we see on reddit that he was out of town this past Saturday and replying to posts where couples were seeking a third. Now I don't care, but being upfront right off the bat goes a long ways. If he still wanted to meet other couples we woukd said cool and good luck in your search and be safe.

How should I handle this? I want to cut it off. Because I feel, disrespected and lied to. Should I just be upfront with him and let him know exactly how i feel? Or should we just ignore him when he decides to text us back and leave it at that.

Sorry if this post is all over the place. But our time in this lifestyle had been really fun, meet some cool, fun, respectful folks. This disrespect is something we have not encountered before.