My husband loves to share the stories of my adventures with his friends. Fortunately, I'm included on the text threads, so I can see exactly what he's saying about me. So, here's what I copied from our "Adventurous Wives" chat this morning. This weekend was our first trip to a swingers' club together. (I've been, but he had not.) We went to Whispers on Friday night, but struck out, because there were no single guys there. We went to Flirt on Saturday. Our story begins Saturday afternoon...

[Hubby's writing begins here]

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Well, holy shit, today is one for the books.

Had another one of our pool parties today. This time, we invited a more limited crowd, so everyone would be comfortable being freaky.

Lydia [that's Guilty-Dragonfruit49 to you Redditors] skipped the first hour of the party because she was "meeting a guy over at the Luxor so he can fuck [her] face for a while." Aight, girl, get down with your bad self! But, I can't send her off unfucked, so I licked her until she couldn't take it anymore, and she demanded that I fuck her right there on the beanbag chair. I meant to stop after a few strokes, but, hey, if that was something easy, there'd be no word for "sibling". Besides, any of you who have fucked her know exactly why this was a fool's errand.

She comes home, and is hanging out in our room, because she's very introverted. I get her off a couple more times with fingers and tongue, and head back out to the party.

One of the guys from there (who'd had fun with her last time) told us all he was heading to some gun show thing and disappears. Turns out, he wandered into the bedroom, fucked her for a while, then said he has to leave for another prior engagement. So, now she's irritated because he left her hanging - she ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠 it when guys don't finish with her. She texts me a picture he took of her asshole just as I see him leaving the house. Ummm... Dave, you asshole, you need to ask my permission before you fuck my woman. But she assumed I had sent him, so she had consented. (And this is why we've revamped our communication policy. More on that in a bit.)

Party time wraps up around 2200, and the group of us transfers en masse to Flirt.

Dave the Dickhead has attached himself to her like a goddamn barnacle, and, honestly, his presumption and lack of respect makes me want to cock block him even harder. So, I enlist my friend Ivy to distract him for a bit, while I send Ivy's husband Tyler to take Lydia off to one of the rooms. (Tyler had told Ivy that he was interested in Lydia earlier, but that he wanted to talk to me about it first, 'cuz he's a good man, and knows how to give proper respect to a relationship like ours. And this works out well, 'cuz he's exactly her type. Big white guy, well-trimmed beard that just looks right on him; like he was sent from the factory that way. What a perfect cap to the night this will be!) Ok, crisis averted.

Now, I've always wanted to watch Lydia get railed, [we're new to this] so I find their room (there's a huge room that's divided up into eight cubes by very diaphanous, sheer curtains), and she's down on her knees in front of him, getting her face fucked some more. (She loves that.) I step in, only planning to watch for a while, then he picks her up, and lays her on her back on the bed. He's pounding the shit out of her; she reaches over, pulls out my cock, and starts sucking.

Hooray! I finally got to spit-roast my wife! Dream come true. Honestly, it was somehow better than I imagined, and I've been imagining it for a long fuckin' time.

It's tough to concentrate on what I'm doing, though, because we've drawn a small crowd of spectators at this point. Every few seconds, another group of three to five people come to watch us, and Mr. Extrovert (me) feels the compulsion to make eye contact with every one of them, and even wave to / chat with some of my friends who walked up. No, I can't turn that off. I used to think I was charismatic; now I realize I'm just extremely needy. Anyway...

We spin her about two on axes, and now she's on all fours, sucking him and has her pussy aimed up at me. She was so fantastically wet; it was glorious. Tyler is slapping her tits, and choking her just as she cums, every time she cums. She's moaning and whimpering, thrusting all the harder back at me. He tells her to thank me for the cock, and she lets go of him long enough to say the words, but then she's got him back past her throat. She swallowed Tyler's load, then turned around to suck me again. And man, I was getting into it. I had all these amazing things going on at once; my beautiful wife being the center of all this attention while she's blowing me, a viewing angle where I could see a parade of lovely tits walking by, a view of my friend Ellie's stunning legs (and, yeah, Lydia, who absolutely is vehemently opposed to getting with a woman, wants to lick Ellie's thighs) - everything's just perfect. It was so fucking hot, watching her legs wrapped around Tyler, her feet pulling him deeper into her, all thoughts of anything but the feel of us inside her completely gone from her head. I was just about to give Lydia a chaser for Tyler's jizz when...

Dave the Dickhead fucking walks into the room, buck naked, and starts feeling up Lydia's ass. {byeeeooop} Instant boner death, as all thought had to transfer to "avoid starting an altercation" mode. Well, by now, almost half of everyone in the place is watching this gorgeous, big-titty Asian chick in fishnets, garters, heels, and an anklet getting fucked silly by three fat white guys, so it would seem... I dunno... rude, maybe? to tell Dickhead Dave to fuck all the way off, so we just go with it. Lydia's on a whole other planet right now, so she's just putting every dick she can reach into the nearest hole and going to town. It was, honestly, an amazing sight to behold - even if part of the view was that Dave taint-pustule. At this point, I'm completely out of commission because I'm concentrating on not choking him. She turns around again, and drains Tyler one more time. (Props to the young man; I can't reload that fast anymore.)

Dickhead Dave leaves to get a drink, and so I get on the bed and start fucking her again. She suggests we go home and finish up there, so I agree. I get up and start getting dressed, and, as I do, Dave the Dickhead is back. At this point, I'm like, "Fuck it, I guess she's enjoying herself", so I head back to the bar to wait for her. I saw him putting it into her ass as I was leaving. She comes out about ten minutes later, and we head to the door.

Dave catches up to us, and I explain to him in the parking lot that, going forward, she's only allowed to be with married guys, so hit me up once he's married. (Since he's a total chodethroater, I don't have to worry about any woman being able to stand the fucker long enough for that to happen.) He got the point and fucked off. On the drive back, we discuss, and find out where the miscommunication was. She tells me, "I thought you didn't like Dave, how come you sent him to fuck me again?" Uh, fucking what? Did he tell you I sent him? Nope. Because that shitbag walked in like he owned the fucking place, she assumed I'd granted him whatever he wanted. Won't fuck that up again - she knows now to ask if guys have my permission if there's any question.

We get to the house, and I'm finally able to reclaim her, without the audience. Glorious. At the end of the day, she's had three loads down her throat (two from Tyler, one from Luxor dude), two in her pussy (from me), and Dickhead Dave finished in her ass. She's still glowing. She looks so happy. What an amazing, epic day.