We've run into this problem several times. We connect online with local guys who have good potential (looks, personality, knowledge of the lifestyle all match up well), but they are married. I honestly look at this as a positive as I see that they basically have a solid reference (the wife).

However, we always stress that we must meet or at least chat with the wife to confirm we aren't participating in an (unethical) affair. I mean I know we all like the dirty, cheating component of this, but we don't want to actually hurt someone or fuck with someone's family life.

Basically every time we hear the same story from these married guys: "She knows I do this and is okay with it, but doesn't want to be involved." It's not that I don't believe people when they tell me this but that request really puts us in a bind.

I'd say we have lost 2 or 3 good fits because they can't prove their wife is on board with the whole thing. I mean maybe she isn't turned on by it, and that's fine. But if she really is "okay" with it, I would assume she'd be okay with meeting or chatting beforehand. Any less and I have to think that she isn't really "okay" with her man being with another women. Am I wrong here? Is there a scenario where a person let's their spouse have sex with others, doesn't have any curiosity about what they are doing, and still legitimately has no problem with them having sex with others. I can't square this in my head.

And on a side note, what a waste of sexual fun they miss out on! ha