We are fairly new to the lifestyle. We have only been trying for a year and a half and have played with three partners. Each encounter seemed successful and enjoyed by all. Our goal was to find a long-term partner. The wife likes to build a level of trust and connection with the third. They will usually chat solo after I do the initial vetting and she waves them through. We do a casual meet up to check the vibe. We communicated what we wanted to our thirds but for one reason or another, the relationship stopped after a few sex sessions.

The first just didn’t logistically work out due to availability and some distance. They still chat periodically but he works a ton and is a single dad. It’s been over a year since we met up with him.

The second ghosted us after the second encounter.

The latest we were really hoping that he would work out. He decided to take a step back and see if he wanted to continue in the lifestyle. He is young and new and I’m sure would do exceptional with normal dating. Totally OK. Appreciative he didn’t ghost us but we are also feeling really discouraged.

I imagine that the wife is probably overthinking it and thinks it has something to do with her. I’ve provided reassurance that I doubt this is the case. She is a mother of two and is worried about some loose skin, stretch marks, etc. She is 5’11”, 145-150 for reference so not fat but a little thickness which is well welcomed. Maybe I will post an image on my profile for you to tell me if it could possibly be a body issue. I personally think guys don’t care that much and she is sexy.

We don’t want to have a continuous rotation of guys. I’m not sure if finding the right dynamic is probable without trying out a lot of thirds.

It seems like we are going to take a break from it. My question is if anyone has any tips with transitioning away from being a hotwife?

I myself think I need to stop consuming lifestyle content and porn to get it out of mind. Should I refrain from dirty talking or roleplaying the scenario. I get that these should be discussed with the wife and I will, but I wanted to see what the outside perspective is.