It was a warm summer evening eight years ago when my best friend approached me, his eyes filled with concern. "You know, it's strange how your wife is always engrossed in her phone whenever I'm around," he confided in me. His words struck a nerve, and I couldn't shake off the feeling of unease.

Summoning the courage, I confronted my wife about my friend's observation. To my surprise, she confessed that she had been engaging in conversations with another man named Tom. When I asked to read the messages, she admitted that she had deleted everything, leaving me with a sense of mistrust and a thirst for answers.

She acknowledged that things had gone too far but claimed to have no recollection of the specific details that had crossed the line. According to her, they had met secretly once, picking Tom up from his house and spending time in a local park, sitting on a bench and discussing various matters. The lack of clarity about how far things had truly gone only intensified my anguish.

Time passed, and Tom eventually entered a new relationship, relocating to a different town. Life seemed to regain some semblance of normalcy, but deep inside, the wounds remained unhealed.

Fast forward to the present day, eight years later. My girlfriend and I found ourselves attending a festival near Tom's town. She grew agitated, expressing disbelief that I hadn't noticed Tom passing by. Despite my genuine ignorance, her frustration escalated, leading to a heated argument. Little did I know that this encounter would uncover a renewed connection between my girlfriend and Tom.

In the following weeks, I discovered that she had resumed exchanging messages with him. Their conversations revealed they had made plans to meet again at an upcoming festival. Determined to avoid appearing possessive or controlling, I decided to maintain a distance while they conversed, engaging with other friends who accompanied us to the music festival.

When I returned, my heart sank as I witnessed my girlfriend playfully draped around Tom's neck, her inhibitions loosened by alcohol. His hand ventured precariously close to her buttocks. I confronted her, expressing my discomfort with their behavior. While I tried to convey my openness to their friendship, I couldn't ignore the history they shared.

This confrontation became the catalyst for numerous subsequent fights between us. She insisted I was overreacting and dismissed any suspicion of impropriety. However, she continued messaging Tom, using various platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and other private apps. She even changed her passwords, citing a need for privacy and an aversion to feeling spied upon.

Caught in this tumultuous situation, I occasionally succumbed to checking her messages, motivated by the circumstances surrounding their relationship. Their exchanges often contained sexual jokes, which she dismissed as harmless and urged me to stop monitoring her. Although she would reluctantly hand over her phone when I requested to see their conversations, impatience would quickly surface, demanding its return after a mere minute, leaving me feeling uneasy and unsatisfied.

Struggling to balance an open-minded approach with a fear of losing her, I endeavored to suppress my jealousy. As time passed, my girlfriend grew comfortable enough to invite Tom to our house during gatherings with other friends. Suppressing my doubts, I played the role of a regular friend, despite the weight of their history.

Now, we find ourselves at a critical juncture. For the past several months, she has been incessantly asking for permission to visit Tom. She wants to accompany him to a bar organizing jam sessions for musicians, despite having no particular interest in musical instruments. Her primary motive is simply the opportunity to be in Tom's company.

When I expressed that I couldn't forbid her from going, but didn't necessarily support it either, she vehemently argued for her independence, claiming she could make her own choices. While I respect her individuality, she struggled to comprehend my reluctance to endorse the idea fully.

Unable to attend the bar due to scheduling conflicts, she now intends to visit Tom's house the following Friday, armed with plants from our garden as a pretext for her visit.

Conflicted and exhausted, I find myself at a crossroads. She asserts that her feelings for Tom have faded and that they are now just friends. Yet, I suspect that she convinces herself of this narrative to avoid facing the truth.

Should I allow her to go? The constant refrain of her complaints about being restricted from spending time with friends has grown wearisome. I consistently reassure her that she is free to meet with friends, but I simply feel uneasy about her visiting Tom alone in his house.

Seeking guidance, I turn to you, hoping for advice that may shed light on this convoluted situation and lead me towards a resolution.