I am the wife 28 here, him 36. Please bare wit my English as it’s not my first language. I am struggling to put my feelings into the right word right orders…

We’ve been dabble with hotwifing 3 times, on and off in the past 2 years, he was the one brought it up to me and I find it hot at the beginning. I love being his slutty wife and perform in front of camera for him. I love all the re-claiming sex very much and the joy on his eyes when he saw the videos, how excited he gets. Life with him is wonderful, we love each other very much.

But the reality is, finding the right guy and feeling safe enough to have sex with is very difficult on my side, also all the chatting and texting can be really exhausting for me. So for me, the ratio will be me 1 to 30% into this, and he fluctuate from1 to100%.

We have talk about having girls to join us, and I am open to that as I am bi-curious. What I have in mind will be having 3 some MFF, something like that. And I made it clear it doesn’t turn me on seeing him solo with another woman, it just don’t. I admit I am a jealousy person from day 1.

Our look out for another female to join us was not easy so it hasn’t happened yet. (We both looking on Apps and Reddit, I guess our area just too conservative.)

We have been on pause with hotwifing for 1 year now. I am currently on business trip away from him, so it’s a great opportunity to act as a slutty hot wife. He got so excited and prepared many outfits and filming equipment for me, and I manage found quite a few guys that might be a good fit but nothing happened so far.

We had this conversation about being fair today over video call, he had a little to drink and he said we should find some girls for him to play with so it will “Be Fair”. I find it very hurtfull and sad… if this is the case, then I wouldn’t agree to start this at the first place at all.

Maybe we just not meant to do this at all? (I am glad he told me this before I take any action.)

Has anyone have similar experience? Or advice for me please?