We had our first MFM recently, here’s our experience. Warning - it’s long.

Back in February my husband kept bugging me about an FFM. At first I said no way. He kept asking so I did some research and searched my feelings about it and finally agreed. Shortly after that he brought up the idea of an MFM. He said he actually found the idea of that hotter than an FFM. I was very skeptical but I finally agreed to let him pursue it. I wondered “what the heck is he thinking?!”

We used Kasidie. He searched out the guys, chatted with them and when he narrowed it down, looped me into the chat. When we got it down to one (J), we started chatting via group email and group Snapchat. One of our boundaries is, I do not to contact him privately and he does not get my phone number. Only my husband exchanged phone numbers with him. My husband and I talked extensively about our boundaries (his and mine). After a video chat on Snapchat, we finally agreed to meet for dinner. We had a good idea we would most likely move forward after that if we clicked.

I was nervous leading up to the dinner, but once we met J and settled down, I relaxed. J was as authentic in person as he was online. We decided to move forward that evening. We hosted at our home where we would feel more comfortable. We felt like we knew enough about J, we felt safe inviting him home. Once we got home my nerves kicked into overdrive and it took me a while to relax again. J was the perfect gentleman and was not pushy. Both my husband and J went at my pace. Finally I asked J to remove my dress and we went back to our guest room. We chose the guest room because if things did go south we wanted to make sure it wasn’t in our bedroom. We also have restraints in that room and one of my fantasies was to be restrained, blindfolded and pleasured by both of them. Talk about sensory overload. Wow, that was hot! Sometimes I knew who was touching or pleasuring me and other times I did not. I found out after that they quietly switched places a few times. After that, things are a bit of a blur but I distinctly remember one of the next things that happened, J holding me in his arms while my husband went down on me. I came twice. Then they took turns with a spit roasting position. When it was my husband’s turn behind me, he had one of the strongest orgasms he has had in a while. After that, he went to the bathroom. While he was gone J asked me to get on top. I did and after I did I remembered one of our early boundaries, that play was to stop when my husband left the room. It was not a boundary we had gone over with J or reminded ourselves of before we went to the bedroom. I did not ask J to stop because I was hoping he would be right back. When he did come back, he made it clear that he was okay with it. After a short break for water, we switched to missionary and J finished.

Overall it was an amazing experience and one we plan to repeat. It brought us closer together and we had some of the most amazing sex we have had in a while the next morning. I woke up and couldn’t wait to climb on top of my husband and ride him. It was an urgent need. We both came nearly simultaneously, not something that usually happens for us. As for the boundary faux pas, we did discuss it even though my husband was okay with it, it was important that we had that discussion. After several days, my husband did need more after care and we had a lot of discussions about it and future MFMs.

Things that went great: We took our time finding the right guy and didn’t rush. We had two safe words: red meaning stop and yellow meaning need a break. Never had to use red but used yellow mostly to take water breaks. My husband was very involved in most of the play. J checked in with each of us frequently and we also checked in with each other.

Things I would change: I was very tired, I did not sleep well the night before and had to work that day. Next time I want to be more rested. I hope to be less nervous next time. I did not engage with J as much as I could have, I held back a lot because I was trying to guard my husband’s feelings. Now that I know he’s okay, I hope I will relax and engage more and fully enjoy the experience. Review all of our boundaries before play and with our guy. We have ours written in a shared note on our iPhones. I thought I was hydrated enough but I had to take a lot of water breaks, so next time I’ll make sure to hydrate more.

We will have J back over again. We are also tentatively planning another MFM with a different guy when we go on vacation in a few weeks.