Hey everyone, husband here to a beautiful Hotwife and I am hoping to get some advice on this. Tbh I’m probably being a oversensitive bitch but for some reason this is upsetting me. Let me start with some history.

My wife and I have been successfully playing in this lifestyle for almost 7 years until we had kids 8 months ago.

Currently we don’t have the bandwidth or the time to meet play partners, which is totally understandable. We still have sex and use lots of dirty talk to get us both off but its just not the same. It’s not as passionate, engaging, and sometimes mundane to the point where it feels mechanical. Lately the idea of sex and intimacy has been putting me off. We are both trying, more me than her which could be an issue.

She continues to get texts from past partners which she knows gets me very excited. I’ll take anything I can get at this point and the idea of her talking or flirting with past lovers is good enough for me. She’ll tell me someone texted her, and I respond with, “you should chat with him”. She never does, which is ok! I am not going to press the issue on her and ruin this entirely.

3 years ago she had a one night stand while attending a conference. Well, he got nicknamed “30 second Stan” cause he couldn’t last a full minute. She said he had a lovely cock but it was a shame he couldn’t last. Anyway, he lives out of state and continues to text her every few months or so.

I was told 2 weeks ago he texted. Obviously, I get excited and say nonchalantly, “Text him back, it could be fun”. She responded with, “what’s the point he lasted for 30sec and lives out of state”. I agreed, a bit frustrated but I moved on. From that point on, I decided to stop bringing up Hotwifing and the lifestyle all together.

This is where I get upset. This morning, she tells me she talked to him last week. Last week? Why are you telling me now? It’s been a full week and it just feels a bit suspicious. Plus she’s been saying no to everything…so why now? She didn’t really have an answer besides, “do you want to see the texts?” my immediate answer was no, since this whole situation has been extremely sexually frustrating and I’ve mentally checked out of the lifestyle.

I wasn’t turned on AT ALL and I’m upset it took her a whole week to tell me. Plus the fact that she convinced me there was no point of even speaking to him has me really annoyed and confused.

Am I just overreacting? We have hardly spoke today mainly because I am quiet at the moment digesting all of this. How do I communicate my frustration without sounding like a selfish prick? At this point, I just want to stop thinking about Hotwifing entirely and concentrate on the kids. As a man who’s entire sexual experiences with this woman revolved around this lifestyle, I have gotten frustrated and even angry during this period of time in our lives. Should I stop it entirely?

Thanks for reading ya’ll and thank you 🙏