Let me tell you a story.

15 years ago I became a mom for the first time. I was in my late teens, had no idea what I was doing, and went from child to parent, before ever getting to experience being an independent young adult. From that moment, I was mom. It was the first child, then the second followed not far behind, and my early 20’s were consumed by managing daycare and work, car seats and strollers, little sleep and exhaustion every day.

Then it was child 3, and not far behind child 4. And in the blink of an eye, my twenties were over. My early 30’s consumed by meal planning, picking up mess after mess, following behind little ones, while the others cling to me. Schedules and transporting, meltdowns and snuggles, extreme highs, and some of loneliest lows.. and by the time the kids were all in bed, I just wanted sit.. with no one needing me. An hour with the off switch set firmly to OFF. And in all of that forgetting about myself, I also forgot about the man I had built all of this with. The man I love more deeply than I could have ever hoped when we first started.

I forgot what brought us together in the first place. The spark, the playfulness, the intensity, the magnetism.

We had lost ourselves.

He had needs that we argued about constantly. Sex. The last thing on my mind after work, kids, carpool, dinner, dishes, laundry, bedtime, and me time. Our intimacy was the casualty of parenthood.

But the enemy was not parenthood, it was the loss of womanhood.

Sex was always just mechanical, it was something we did to feel good, be close, and be a good steward of human nature. But as many times as he had asked me “what is it that YOU want?” I simply replied “ nothing… this.. I don’t know..”

And so the avoidance, the delaying, the “maybe tomorrow” continued with no foreseeable end. We set standards like the experts said. Try foreplay, force yourself to do it twice a week, massages, candles… blah blah…

But through it all, we never stopped fighting for each other. Despite the hurt feelings, the misunderstandings, we still communicated everything.

And then one day not too long ago, in the midst of “I’m not sexy, my clothes don’t fit like they used to, do you think we can afford a boob job”, the usual loss of self insecurities, he said.. “what if we posted some sexy photos of you online, I bet there are a ton of men who would see the same thing in you that I see”

I laughed. Yeah right.

And then it turned to, maybe you’re right!

And then.. yeah.. right.. ok.

And we bought a brand new phone with a really nice camera, and tried some fun lighting… and just like that, the dm’s flooded.

The validation… at 35 turning 36 in a few days, it was thrilling to see men from 21 to 51 calling me sexy and begging me to let them tribute me (something I had no idea was a thing until this journey) but wow..

In a few weeks I went from identifying as nothing but a mom, to being told I was the sexiest milf all these people had ever seen. It hit me out of nowhere.

Every day I felt sexier and more desired. I know plenty of men would have their own insecurities with their wife being out there like this, but my husband loved every second of it. I shared everything with him and we continued to communicate to no end. Brutal honesty. And what I thought could possibly take my attention away from him, made me want him like I hadn’t wanted since our first week of dating.

My fire was back, maybe more than it had ever been. I was in control of my womanhood again, finally. Maybe really for the first time ever. I felt like I could turn off the mom switch and be this vixen, that made men cum, and made my husband fight for me (even though he never needed to in the first place)

We went from chore sex, to fucking like our honeymoon again, and making love like we never wanted to leave each other. I started realizing I had fantasies and kinks that even a month or two prior I had told him I never wanted to try, or felt ashamed about.

I felt desired again.

We have discovered so many new fantasies and we’re finally on the same page. Heading towards middle age and we’re so excited for what this new journey has in store. I have never felt this in control of my own sexuality for me, but ultimately for us, in this incredible, exhilarating adventure.

If you’d like to join us on this journey, or even just a few words of encouragement, or even to connect and share some fantasies, please drop us a line. We all get stuck in a rut sometimes, through all of this, it has been incredible to hear from so many who are in the same place we are!

Happy hotwifing!!!