We get asked constantly how we got started, and how we navigated going from a monogamous relationship to a hotwife lifestyle. So we wanted to take some time to share our story, hopefully this helps others that are thinking of how or where to start.

Our story begins with a long, strong, monogamous relationship of more than 12 years. We keep a strong relationship by being honest, open, and direct with one another. We also have a great sex life that keeps us both having an orgasm basically every night that we’re together and able. We felt like having a high level of honesty, openness, and great sex was the necessary foundation to enter this lifestyle successfully.

The way we first brought up the idea of this lifestyle was by having very deep, and open conversations one night about our past, present, and future. Ultimately the idea originated due to an imbalance in our life experiences. I (Husband) had an extremely active lifestyle as a single young man, but she had zero dating / sex experience outside of our relationship. She was always very aware of my single days and was comfortable asking me questions or hearing stories. On this night I asked if she would like to have more life experience so she could have her own stories. After a bit of dialogue, she shared that she would be open to testing the waters.

Initially, our naivety had us come up with the idea that she would just go out to bars, clubs, or tinder to meet people. I was surprisingly open to her just going and doing whatever she wanted so long as I knew before anything took place. Our conversation then turned into talking about fantasies, but neither of us really had much to share. Before we called it a night, I had mentioned that I wouldn’t mind having a mfm 3some with her. She was hesitant, but open to the idea which was pretty hot in both our minds.

A week or so after we had these discussions she went out with some girlfriends. We both knew that she would at least try to get some numbers, but she also had approval to take things to the next level. I gave her space, and just asked what was going on here and there that night. She let me know she was having a lot of fun talking to people but had no numbers yet. Before bed I asked what was going on, she shared she was talking with someone interesting. I nervously asked if it could go somewhere, and she said maybe but wasn’t sure yet. I didn’t message again that night, but I also didn’t sleep. I had no idea that I was going to be so bothered by the thought of her out there alone with a stranger.

The next morning I woke up to some basic messages that gave me no indication if something happened or not. When I finally discovered that nothing at all happened I had more relief than I ever imagined possible. It was not a pleasant feeling thinking of your wife in anything but a perfect situation. I mostly had fears for her safety, but I also realized I did not want her to have a negative experience. If she’s gonna get some strange then it better be some great dick, at least that’s what I felt. She shared the same concerns, and expanded on how it would be a bit dirty to go home with a stranger from the club. We were both happy nothing took place, and this changed our mindset on everything we were doing.

After that experience I started to look into bringing a third in for some fun. I had nothing planned, but I told her that someone may surprise her at home with me when she returned from a trip. She was nervous on her flight home and had hoped nothing would happen. That opened up our dialogue to get us both to the point where we were ready to actually take this seriously. Something we learned in this was we never want to mislead one another in such a serious situation again.

We finally knew we were both very interested, but we had no idea how to properly approach this type of thing. That’s when we decided to get serious and start researching the best practices for this type of lifestyle. It took a couple weeks of dialogue to get us to a point where we both felt comfortable with our rules, and approach. We learned everyone has different rules so we had to make sure we found what works for us.

Once we decided to start contacting people we got a bit lost in the excitement. We had some oversight during chats with our selects. Namely we realized there are a lot of pic collectors, cheating husbands, flakes, and people that just want to chat and jerk-off. Those all felt like big obstacles to a couple that was very real, and very new. At times we felt like we would be better giving up, but what we learned was how to properly vet our selects. We fine-tuned what we do, what we ask, how we interact. In the end it only took 3 weeks from “let’s really look into making this happen” to “wow, that just happened”.

Three weeks after our first encounter we were on our first sex vacation and had the time of our lives.

This lifestyle has been a roller coaster, but it has been an extremely fun one. We look forward to having a lot more experiences. More importantly we look forward to trying new things in this lifestyle.