Close enough that it’s time to think of the reality of it all.

My wife has known about this fantasy of mine for years now but he recently been way more involved. roleplay, dirty talking etc. she always said if we do this she wants me to participate or do it alone and she tells me later. which is fine, but the concept of meeting someone and the logistics and how it all works before etc wasn’t something she really like the idea of. but she has brought it up. things like having a fwb or a night of passionate sex while i’m at work etc completely unprovoked by me.

this past weekend we went to a bar for a friends party and ran into an old friend of ours we haven’t seen since before we got married. they always had chemistry.

back at the hotel i mentioned it was good to see him and that her and him always had chemistry. we got to talking as things heated up and she said if there was anyone she would be able to have sex with outside our marriage it would be him. then have chemistry, trust and some tension.

so as things heated up we flirted with the idea of her texting him or me texting him etc just to get communication going and if things went that way maybe she would go. it didn’t, partly cause it was 3am we were pretty intoxicated and getting to his place and back wouldn’t be simple. but we definitely got into it and both enjoyed it a few times that morning and next day.

then tuesday he texted me saying it was good to see her and myself and we talked about not letting it be 5 years before next time. i mentioned it to my wife and he didn’t text her but she feels like it’s because i am the safer option. we had sex again that night no dirty talk, she initiated it but i don’t know if it’s related or not. i try not to do too much fantasy stuff too often close together.

so that’s where i am at. a long way from “i don’t feel like you respect me if you want me to sleep with other guys” it’s exciting, a lot of feeling slightly anxious and second guessing because i know if we cross that line there isn’t a going back. which is a reality we must all acknowledge, respect and pay attention to.