My wife and I discussed the lifestyle for the first time a few years ago. Initially she was hesitant. And after a few months of discussing it she revealed that it actually was starting to become a desire of hers as well. She had a guy she had always had a connection with but neither ever acted on it. She revealed how she wanted to be sexual with him and actually messaged him. After about a month I've discussing it and both being very into it she changed her mind and said she didn't like the way those thoughts made her feel. And has since said she no longer thinks thinking or discussing those types of things are for her. I respect that but I'm really hung up on this kink and I'm just looking for others ideas on how they compromise and explore it in other ways.