Quick summary: My wife and I have been enjoying the Hotwife LS for a bit now. She’s had a number of meets, a few regulars, and some glorious reclaims. All was/is wonderful on that front.

Then a curveball presented itself: a couple. We hit it off, had a few evenings to socialize, and it was suggested we spouse date. My HW and I talked it over a LOT, as I was not intending to enter into the arena. Our original rules were she plays, no secrets, I support and reclaim, as voyeurism is my top kink.

She decided after all of the support and adventures she’s had, she would let me try. A free pass. It might be fun.

I was nervous but excited. Lots of texting and flirting between she and I, and then our night out arrived.

It went great. It was fun. Mostly talking, a dash of flirting, but getting to really know her. A long walk downtown in the night air. Then a kiss in a darkened doorway. And a few more. Back at her car, many more, and a lingering promise for more dates to come. Mutual.

Texts the next day, she even called my wife and they talked about what a great time we had.

At home, however, the dynamic was not the same.

Whatever switch I managed to flip to offer my wife the freedom of a Hotwife, the joy I had in sharing and reclaiming her, she doesn’t have that same switch. She tried, and it really got to her. And the fact that it got to her really got to me. Guilt. Yes, I had permission but it had caused my love to feel pain. Not okay. And loss, too, that this new adventure had to end. But the highest order was the knowledge that my wife, my love, my family had to be first.

We talked. It wasn’t easy at first. We felt raw. I felt all out of sorts. There were awkward silences, a few tough days of trying to sort it out, and some pain, but we talked it out and realized that our dynamic needed to be reset. Back to the fun, the HW dynamic that we both found exciting and exciting.

Perhaps this is me just typing it out for myself, to get it out into the universe.

But if this serves as a cautionary experience, a lesson for anyone else who falters, hits a rough moment, even better.

The roller coaster has dips. Just remember who you’re really there ride the adventure with.

Peace and joy.