My wife and I are very new to exploring this kink and so are looking for a bit of advice. We are both extremely horny and the new running joke while talking about potential threesomes/dates is that we both just really like to fuck.

Biggest question I think we have is what makes a difference between a hotwife and the alternative? I am very non- submissive and so mostly what turns me on about my wife with another man is the fact that I think she is so sexy and really enjoy her cutting loose/getting pleasure/being a slut. She has been very open to a threesome(both mfm and Mff) and has also voiced interest in finding a hookup while out of town. My deal is, since I'm new to this, I don't necessarily know how I feel about her with another man until we get there. I find it extremely arousing to think of her giving out blowjobs but always imagine being involved... I want every guy she touches to know she is only touching them because I'm allowing it and, if I want to be involved, I will be unless discussed before hand. Is there a category for this? Any advice anyone has is appreciated. Apologies if this isn't the correct sub, just looking to learn.