To keep it short 6-9 months ago I opened up to my wife about the hotwife lifestyle and how I was interested. She was accepting of it as role play/pillow talk but was unsure about doing it in real life.

Fast forward she goes on a work trip for a week. She works with a person I long suspected she had a crush on. Apparently there was heavy flirting between the two and he invited her to his room for a night cap. She declined.

Where I’m struggling is that she didn’t tell me about it for a couple days, even though we fantasized about this, just not with someone real. Also as I’ve asked more questions it sounds like this attraction has been there for a year and she fantasizes about him while masturbating.

I’m not jealous or mad about any of that. I just wish she would have expressed her feelings when we first started down this path. Also I feel like I keep finding out new details which makes it feel like someone is hiding something.

I’m so turned on and happy she is having fun, but also don’t like being in the dark, or made to seem crazy when I know there is something there HELP? Advice on how to move forward please