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New to the LS
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My wife and I are getting into the LS and are going through and talking about a lot of rules. At times this can seem overwhelming. Reading through other posts I'm trying to take it all in. Other than trying to talk through what ifs, any other specific advice? We just committed to trying this within the last week after talking about it for a while.

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Enjoy the journey. The jealousy is a part of it. Acknowledge how you feel and talk about it. You'll figure out pretty quickly that it's not any specific rule that hurts you - it's dishonesty (usually because you're trying to spare their feelings - I fucked that one up and hurt him once... it was a hard lesson to learn). Its just sex, afterall... experience joy for your partners' experience and let go of the insecurities that create weird fake boundaries that wind up being opportunities for you both to "break rules"

We talked a lot about rules and what we learned was it was better to have experiences and then calibrate based on how we felt about things that happened. Things we thought were a big deal weren't. Things we hadn't thought about at all ended up tying our stomach in knots. The more you play the less you care about rules. The more you play the more you value honesty and the deep talks about how you felt and are feeling.

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1 year ago