Just wanted to thank all the people here and at r/swingers for all the advice I’ve read here and over there over the last few years.

I opened up to my wife that I wanted to see her with a man a few years ago. She was never closed to the idea and we’ve been slowly building up (dirty talk, etc). The added benefit was helping her discover some kinks that she didn’t know she had. Since then our sex (which was always good) got even better and has only been getting hotter.

We went to a local swingers club a few months ago with 0 intention of playing with anyone. We ended up having sex with each other with people watching but didn’t even talk to anyone besides each other. Mostly we were blown away by how comfortable we felt there and excited to go back. Which we did a few days ago.

We went in with some rules (basically I wanted to see her with a woman and/or man but she didn’t want me to be with a woman for now at least… fine by me. She also wanted no kissing for now which I didn’t want to press her on) but we basically broke them all after a couple our age started engaging with us when we were just making out in the orgy room. Cut to half hour later us 4 are in a room soft swapping. First time either of us has been with more than one person at a time. First time I’ve seen her with a woman. The other girl going down on my wife as I was insider her (my wife) is something I’m never gonna forget.

Most importantly our communication was great which is why I wanted to thank people here for the emphasis on that. We kept checking in with each other each time something changed. I thought I’d be caught up in the moment and go too far accidentally (which is typical me) but it was my wife who actually got a bit carried away (which is a real role reversal). She said I could have sex with the other girl if I wanted but I suspected she was getting caught in the moment and might regret it… we talked about it for a bit. I said I wasn’t sure if I wanted to and she said “then it’s a no” which was definitely the right call. We finished with our own partners.

There was only a brief moment when she did something to the other guy I didn’t like. I told her in the moment and she stopped, neither of us were upset at all. Everyone ended very happy. We exchanged numbers with the other couple…they told us they’d done that a few times but we were the first couple we clicked with and the first ones they given their numbers too.

I’m also surprised how much I enjoyed seeing her with another man. I knew for a fact I’d love seeing her with a woman but I gave myself maybe a 50/50 odds of regretting actually seeing her with a man and being a bit jealous. That didn’t happen at all. Wife says she has no regrets and neither do I.

Anyway thanks again for all the people here to emphasize communication. True I probably broke a rule by agreeing on rules then breaking them but I guess it worked out!