FYI this is a Long Read

My wife and I have been swinging on and off for about 8 or 9 years now. Started with threesomes, then swaps, then eventually lead up to a hotwife fantasy.

After reading a bunch of info from the various subs, and sharing photos and ideas for inspiration with each other, she finally felt she was ready to explore the hotwife life.

This was never about any humiliation and was simply me enjoying seeing her as my own personal porn star. All I ever asked for was updates and of course photos and videos of as much as possible.

She found a guy through one of the apps, chatted for a while, built up some tension, and finally went to go meet him for a drink. Our boundaries were no kissing, no anal, and to keep me updated on everything as the night progressed. She also wasn’t planning on hooking up with him, didn’t even shave bc she was so sure, and said if they really hit it off maybe she’d blow him.

They met at the bar, ordered a drink and she sent me a pic of the two of them. There was a little flirtiness through text but nothing crazy. Not much longer after that, after she finished her first drink, I get a photo of them in a car, him sucking on her nipples. Shocked it’s moving so fast, but excited, I’m eagerly waiting for more. I get a few pics and short videos of him fingering her, and then of her blowing him. At this point, I'm still shocked and getting more excited. I wasn't ready for the next video, which was a 7 second video of her riding him, without wearing a condom with a caption of “is this ok”

Emotions are running wild, but I’m hard and excited, and it all ends just as quickly as it started. Soon she’s calling me saying she was heading home. Since I only got a 7 second video, I asked where did he finish. She told me he pulled out and came on a towel.

She got home, I reclaimed her, and felt great but something felt off. I wasn’t sure what and just continued to ride the high. The next day curiosity got the best of me and I hit up her bull, as we already had spoken prior through text. After asking him how everything went, I learned that they kissed in the elevator on the way to the parking garage, that he was playing with her asshole and applying pressure with his finger, and most importantly, that he pulled out and put it in her mouth to cum down her throat. Something she has never done to me.

This obviously caused a huge fight, as she broke every boundary, on top of smaller things like not even trying to take lengthy videos, and not updating me at all, not even telling me she was leaving the bar after less than an hour of being there. She broke down and expressed how things just got away from her. She had her first taste of freedom in so many years and ran with it a little too much. That everything happened fast and she never stopped to think about me and our boundaries or wants and desires.

I forgave her fairly quickly, as it is uncharted territory for both of us. She promised she would do better, she promised she would take longer films and better photos, she promised she would keep me fully updated as much as she can and so we have it another shot. And we talked more about what I wanted out of this, including not to have the bulls getting anything I don’t get, like pussy to mouth.

Things were up and down for a little, mostly bc of finding bad partners until we finally found a bull she ended up meeting up with three times. She meets with this bull and the photos were great, the videos were amazing, and this guy knew his role. Knew how to fuck. And knew how to take great footage. The only complaint I had was that she went pussy to mouth every time, something she has done with another bull or two before by this point. She still doesn’t do this with me at all. This guy would also fuck her multiple times and I would get turned down almost anytime I was in the mood for a round two.

Negatives aside, things were starting to tread upward until she started to withhold again. She all of a sudden wasn’t as open. It would be like pulling teeth to get her to have a convo about anything. I found out much later on, that after she fucked him the first time, that she was worried I wouldn’t satisfy her again. She still fucked him two more times, and a third time in a threesome with me without telling me this.

After this bull she kinda took a break, then with little ups and downs started to meet more guys. She also started to make it a priority to find a single girl for us to play with. From her next bull, things started to really go downhill. She would have nothing to say to update me or keep me in the loop. She would do absolutely nothing to try and include me using text, the pics and videos. It turned into me just getting videos of my wife getting railed out. I wasn’t getting any of the pictures i specifically said would be sexy to get, and when I did they were blurry, and just rushed. It made me feel like she did it to shut me up, but otherwise wasn’t thinking about me at all the entire time she was banging someone else.

Like an idiot, I was torn. I didn’t want to end it, bc the videos and pics were a turn on. I also still had hope. Hope that she would try and do something to excite me. Something to include me. All I wanted was to know that she’s still thinking about me, even if she’s with another man. So we kept trying. And trying.

She ended up fucking 11 different guys, some of them multiple times. She went pussy to mouth with most of them (still refusing to do it with me). She sucked the bigger ones off with an enthusiasm that I rarely, if ever saw. An eagerness to go crazier than we do, and our sex life is definitely more frequent and more exciting than the average couple.

She told me a few times that she wanted me there, which is hard because we have kids and no steady babysitters. We finally got a night out, went to a lifestyle house party, hooked up with another couple and went off to the other room to swap. While my wife was blowing the guy, and the guys wife was eating my wife out, I was standing there getting a half ass jerk off from my wife. I kinda backed up and was ready to leave but stayed and tried to have my fun. They were all over my wife. I was hardly touched. Later my wife said she didn’t notice and she thought I was fucking around with the other man’s wife.

She also met one male/female couple, who she ignored me the whole time she was there, and during the 3 hours of them just hanging out and not even playing around, I asked her to leave and come home 4 separate times before she decides to send me a picture of her and the girl nude in bed, just about to get started. I replied I’m turning my phone off and she ended things and left.

In all the meets where she actually played around, she never even attempted to do a single thing I asked for. I even put together a challenge list with a point system and prize as a fun way to share things I’d love to see. She never even looked at the damn thing. She never looked at any shared note that I shared my fantasies with. There was, no exaggeration, 0 attempts to give me a single thing I asked for. She never showed any effort into finding a single woman for us, even though it was a priority of hers.

Currently I’m at my breaking point, and after 3 years of turmoil and back and forth in this lifestyle, after 3 years of begging her to just be more open, to fill me in, to show an interest in sharing this life together, I can’t take it anymore. I asked for a divorce as I do not believe the damage can be undone. The selfishness I have seen her show over the years is something I cannot open my heart back up to. I hope this lifestyle works out for all those who try. It really can be an amazing ride. Just make sure you and your wife are completely on the same page, and do not wait for your spouse to make 15 mistakes before learning this lifestyle was never for us.