Black Christmas 2019 review (2nd draft)

4.0/10

The new Black Christmas is neo-liberal feminist remake of a remake. The 2019 version is a far contrast from both the 1974 and 2006 versions. Billy, the killer in both, is absent from the new film and in his place is a supernatural misogynistic frat cult in honor of their college’s founder, Calvin Hawthorne. Hawthorne was a horrible misogynist and slaveowner, who members of Delta Kappa Omicron conduct rituals for to empower them with his spirit to rid the world of unruly women who disrupt the patriarchal status quo.

The film exists to show how a sexist society punishes women who fight for equality. The lead character, Riley accuses DKO president, Brian, of sexual assault and Kris, her sorority sister, pushes that Calvin Hawthorne’s bust be removed from the university, citing his misogynistic past. She also encourages English Professor Gelson be fired because of his refusal to teach on books by women. Both are strong women who personify contemporary feminist characteristics who the film argues that a misogynistic society seeks to punish.

Riley is the embodiment of the Me Too movement. Even her close friends have doubts about her allegations. Despite everyone’s disbelief, she maintains her account and powerfully advocates for herself. Kris is the quintessential hyper-liberal feminist in 2019. The film sits perfectly in the current Me Too x Believe Women environment. I like that the film rose social commentary, the issue, however, is that the film and story simply aren’t good.

My biggest issue with the film is that it’s oversaturated with feminist tropes/talking points and characterizations that it’s borderline satire. A satire would actually have been a good decision. Black Christmas would have been a better film if it were coyer about its subject-matter. The writers and filmmakers really really wanted to let the viewer know that it’s a feminist film stabbing back at the patriarchy, so much so that it came off as silly. Less can be more and the writers should have heeded that advice.

The first example is the song performed at the talent show. The scene was forced and the lyrics were cringey. It was a cheesy attempt to burn a bunch of cocky frat bros. Riley began freestyling midperformance condemning the rape-culture of Hawthorne college while also reaffirming Brian as her rapist. The scene was inorganic; how would the other girls know all the lyrics to an impromptu freestyle? It was reminiscent of the Girl Power scene in Avengers Endgame but worse and even more forced.

The second was an even graver offense. Right after the assailants begin their attack, Nate, Marty’s boyfriend shows up and despite the girls’ pleas to be quiet, Nate foolishly rushes in to fight the attackers loudly proclaiming “that it’s a man’s duty to protect his woman”. As soon as he says this he’s shot in the head with a bow and arrow being instantly killed. This scene made me roll my eyes to the point that it hurt. The message is the folly of men in treating women like damsels in distress that only they can save, and in their assumption that women can’t do so without their man. Him being instantly killed is some sort of metaphor of killing that antiquated ideology or the folly in believing in it. This is a prime example of where the film would’ve done been so much better using less transparent methods of getting that point across. That dialogue was extremely stupid and over-the-top and borderline caricature-ish.

The film is a victim of its own passion. I can tell that the writers and filmmaker are fervent feminists, but they’re so eager in dismantling the sexist American patriarchy that they created a film so overt in its messaging that it created a caricature of itself. Nearly every male is depicted as a cocky sexist who enables rape-culture. Take every Me Too/Believe Women/Neo-Liberalism talking point of 2019 and put it in a film and you’d get Black Christmas. The feminist dialogue was overdone. The film wanted to tell you that it was feminist instead of just being feminist.

As far as the horror-it was a bit underwhelming. The first half of the film is dedicated to building the mystery, so there isn’t really much if any at all there. Unfortunately, it didn’t end up being worth the wait. The assailants were okay but the one chase-and-hide scene was pretty bland. I did like their getaway, however, I thought that was good and definitely the highlight of the film. The final showdown was straight-up bad. It fell into one of the illogical misdoings that many horror films fail and fall into.

How Riley got out of her impossible capture was just dumb and clearly forced. How the film dealt with the possessed is a great example of how limiting not being rated-R was. Instead of having a bloody finale everyone was instantly cured of their possession and things quickly went back to normal. The directors should have taken a page out of the Blaxploitation playbook and dealt their oppressors graphic ends. The film end things with a nice bow and ribbon that of course is because of the PG-13 rating.

I was looking forward to the film; the trailer was impressive but ultimately, it didn’t live up to my aspirations. The creators would have been better served utilizing metaphors to get their point across. Their message was so overt that it was almost elementary. The critique of misogyny/rape culture and its treatment of strong women was force fed. Not that I don’t want the message but it was too remedial in its messaging for me to take it seriously.