I'm very much enjoying the Godseeker DLC, and I've beaten the normal Radiance. Now I'm working on P3, and I'm stuck on Hive Knight/Collector/God Tamer/Troupe Master Grimm. Moreover I'm grinding on these bosses because it's not just about the bosses.

I'm turning 45 in a little over a month. I've recently learned that I have ADHD - inattentive presenting, and that's dramatically changed how I view my life, and understand my self. Where Hollow Knight comes in, is that as I'm focusing on defeating the bosses, I am beginning to tell when my attention slides--and that I cannot prevent this from happening. My focus slides, I make chaotic decisions and get stomped. So I have to start all over again. In particular, the fight with these three bosses are a plateau I can't seem to leave. While I've learned Collector on Attuned and Ascended, Hive Knight and God Tamer continue to defeat me on Ascended as I find my attention wanders away due to the mobs (bees) and to God Tamer's partner, and then I can't get it back in time to recover and win the fight.

I'm also mindful that I'm getting older and my response times aren't as great as I used to be. I'm really good at FPS's like Destiny and RPGs like Skyrim because I'm experienced enough to know how to improvise and take advantage of terrain and cover and what-not. But HK isn't that kind of game. It's so well designed that it's just about perfectly fair--and because of that I can tell when my own limitations get in the way.

I keep grinding though, because I am getting better (albeit very unevenly and slowly) and because I want to better understand these moments where my attention slides, now that I'm aware enough to perceive that sensation.

I suppose my question to the Hollow Knight community is this: Is beating a game the ultimate goal of playing it, or is it the struggle to "git gud" at the game even when you realize you may not be capable of that? As I get older, I am beginning to suspect that this is the question to ask, instead of whether or not I can beat a game. Because I am getting older, and eventually I'm not going to have the motor skills to keep up. I don't know if that time is beginning now or if I still have time. And, Hollow Knight is my meditative tool of sorts to work through all those issues while trying to git gud.