44M here. I got herpes around 12 years ago I think I got it from my wife but she has always denied she has it, she has never been tested as far as I know (you wouldn’t know with her because she is a liar). We had unprotected sex for years we never had sex while I had an outbreak but still I find it hard to believe if she didn’t have I didn’t pass It on to her.

Anyway that relationship has broken down and I’m now trying to move on with my life with an incurable and contagious STD. I have met a new woman, very early stage but I can sense a connection. It’s at the stage now where I get that feeling in my stomach when I’m about to meet her.

I feel she will go out with me if I ask her out, if it happens this will be my 1st disclosure talk. Uncomfortable as that will be and if I do convince her it will be safe, the truth I don’t believe it will be possible to avoid passing it on in a long term relationship.

Has anyone managed to avoid passing it on in a long term relationship?

My research has led me to believe that even taking daily anti virals and using a condom that will reduce the risk by 70%. I don’t like those odds I really would not want to pass it on to her.

I don’t know if I have HSV 1 or HSV 2 all evidence point to HSV2 reoccurring out beaks on the penis.

My only hope is that I have HSV-1 and she gets cold scores which would be likely to be HSV 1. I’ll be watching her closely over the coming winter if she has one I’ll be getting tested straight away. if not I don’t think I’ll pursue even though I think we are well suited and their could be real love there.