Hey guys, what's up. This is a simple, yet long wall of text on my journey through HoN (and a bit of DotA), and how I learned some interesting facts as I got through years playing RTS games. I have a feeling that I will get lots of down votes for this, but this is my way of expressing to you guys, how I realized that people should really start to look at themselves and ask, “Are you really qualified to assume your position as a great player?”

Since 2009, I've been introduced to DotA by my friends. I sucked shit. Every single day I played with them, I was always yelled at, and just got owned in every game. This is what made me determined to get better. Believe me, I was a strong learner back then - I wouldn't accept defeat for an answer and always fought to seek help. Of course during that time, I had nobody to help me, so my only option was to keep playing, I loved DotA. Gradually, I've became better, and I know this because I don't rot (Decay) in base like I used to with Pudge (Devourer), and buy two Dagon's (Codex) to upgrade it once. But forget it – this isn’t about DotA – this is my story of Heroes of Newerth, and how I’ve learned that I suck at it.

Heroes of Newerth, like DotA or any RTS game has a very steep learning curve. In 2010, I thought I was really great at this game. I thought, 1600 was being a god at this game and considered pro, pub stomping with Devourer (favourite hero back then, same since DotA times). Little did I know, I was struck blind by my own sly thoughts. When I finally learned all basic mechanics, I stopped learning to play as a team.

I started to think that, if I wanted to get better, I have to play competitively on my own. That, my friends, is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in this game. I’m telling you right now that my life has changed in retrospect to this game in terms from playing with the idea of a fun game, to attempting to play competitively. The day I reached 1700 PSR (no MM back then), I was really happy.

Then nothing changed. I still played like how I used to play – there was no light shining, giving me a care package from the sky. I didn’t care – I still continued to thought I was really good at this game, regardless of what people said, nor how others played.

Then came this year. I joined Reddit. I’ve started watching HonCast, streams. I’ve started to really analyze the critical turning points that change you from a regular player to someone who wants to play competitively. I’ve been labeling myself from being a pro (last year, being 16xx), to being just an average decent player (17xx).

I’ve started playing with people better than me, and I realize that I am leagues behind of being a ‘good’ player. This can be justified – I go to a regular channel, say Reddit perhaps. Reading some of the comments on the channel sometimes I catch glimpses of players saying “invite me, I’m good”. I right click and check their MMR rating, TSR rating, everything. This person isn’t better than me, in fact, I’m better than him in so many levels. This is why; I believe people rage in any given point of a game. There is NO clear justification whether or not someone is better than another player, regardless of a number that identifies yourself in this game.

This leads to my conclusion that I’m in fact, not a good player at all. I constantly strive to become one, but until now I, myself, as a 1700 rated player, believe that I still have lot’s to learn if I ever want to get close to play competitively - not necessarily in leagues like eG, DWi, SK, but high enough in order to redeem yourself as a above the average player.

I’m writing this late at night and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in forever, so my story may be out of order or just irrelevant. I just felt like I needed to put this out there: you’re not really what you think you are. Playing this game with the mindset that you’re already good at this game is just horrible in so many levels; I hope everyone is able to change their attitudes towards this game after giving this a considerable thought. If you want to get better, lose.

Thanks for taking the time to read this guys, really brings a light to my day to know that someone actually takes time to read stuff like this.

tl;dr: I thought I was good at this game at first. Then I met you guys, I met a few competitive players out there, and realized that I sucked ass, and urge players to have the same mindset as I do.