I've been struggling with a heavy form of depression for over 7 years now (I'm currently 17). It was destroying me from the inside, not allowing me to enjoy life. I even had suicidal thoughts at some point. Recently I realized that my wish to be a girl isn't just some weird fetish or a character trait, and I'm actually trans (now that I think about it, it was obvious, and I have no idea why I didn't realize sooner. I've had way too many signs from childhood).

The problem is, I live in Russia, which is an extremely transphobic country. Plus, I'm too afraid to come out to my parents, cause I'm afraid (and almost certain) that they won't accept me the way I am.

I wanna move to Germany for this (and not only this) reason. I've heard that Germany is one of the most supportive countries towards trans people, and I love this country in general.

Basically I'm planning to move to Germany in a few years, save up some money, come out to my parents through a message (cause talking to them in person would be even more embarrassing) and then transition to a girl. I believe doing that might actually make me fall in love with life again, and I'll finally be happy.

Do I need to know or check anything before I do that? I know that transitioning is a very slow, expensive, (almost) irreversible process, so I should probably be 200% sure that I really want it. While I am certain that I do want it, I'm afraid that it might not be a genuine feeling, as if I'm lying to myself for some reason. I'm so confused, I don't know what to do :(