I'm struggling with performing actions necessary to achieve certain goals. Such as losing weight and progressing towards being more financially independent.

I know what to do to move forward in these areas, but I am just not willing to put in the work. I don't sacrifice.

That last few months I've had this mental dilemma where I can't decide if I should just let go of some of these desires and be ok with who I am (which I am, to a certain degree), or if I keep pushing and cease being "weak" or "unwilling".

I've been reading a lot of self help books the last few years. They are helpful for a few days and then I "forget" what they teach. The enlightenment lasts a few days. I ride that high for a bit but then it dissipates and I fall back into old ways and patterns. It is a bit frustrating because I feel like I am trying to be a better person. But I'm not seeing the results.

I'm at a point now where I get into these phases after I do good work for a few days, maybe 1.5 weeks, only to eventually fall back into a state of lethargy. While in this phase I feel as if the days don't change. I'm living one very long day where everything is the same. I can snap out of it, but I'm tired of it not lasting. I lack consistency. The only consistent thing going for me is my inconsistency haha.

Sometimes I wonder if these phases can be considered a form of depression. However I don't feel sad or anything. I know what's happening and what I allow to happen.

The internet community has blown up the last 10 years, with streaming, social media, content creation etc. One common concept that gets thrown around is "the grind". I respect the grind. I believe hard work pays off. But I'm wondering if I'm missing something. Why can't I do the grind? (I don't want to be a streamer or content creator. I want to grind becoming a better version of myself).

Lastly, I do get discouraged sometimes now when I seek answers or guidance because I feel as if I already have them. I know what must be done, I just don't do it.