I was thinking about this and realized a lot of my past anxiety was due to needing security. If I make a lot of money this worry is slightly dulled, but otherwise I worry about economic collapse, not having a white picket fence life (not just having a gf, but having one that gives a shit), etc. . I think part of this is I felt I have always needed to look out for my interest and never felt secure and felt like I needed to make stuff happen. I know to an extent either way I need to make my own way, but more in a hyper way . I want to feel like no matter what I have the house, a partner, etc. . I do have the house, and so either I need more money, a partner , or go from situation to situation to stimulate me (ie growth). Does anyone deal with something similar?