I realize when I think about removing the dopaminergic shit from my life for a time (detoxing), there's literally nothing left besides my occasional hobby of drawing, which is obscured by all of my dopamine seeking. I have become so desensitized it led me to abusing stimulants, especially Adderall (which I quit 2 days ago). I have autism but not ADHD. And I feel remorse for abusing a medication that is meant for a condition that I don't have.

I want to fix this and fill the void with meaning instead. My main difficulty is that implementing a healthier lifestyle is so jarring in comparison to my dopamine seeking current lifestyle. But whenever I try implementing even small changes, it's obscured and quickly overrided by falling back into habits like scrolling, etc. Video games and shows aren't even pleasurable anymore.

I'm wondering how I should go about improving my life? And what to expect from stuff like withdrawal including PAWS from withdrawing from Adderall abuse for a few months. I want to feel joy again. Thank you