I don’t want anything more than to live comfortably. I can’t try everything I can’t do everything there’s not time to do everything the things I have done our just not enough. I’m not interested in anything and than I’m interested in everything. I can’t do everything. I can’t have every job learn every language. I don’t know what my purpose is supposed to be and I have no way of knowing. I’d rather not be here but if I’m forced to be here I’d at least want it to be on my terms. There’s just no point. Regardless of anything. What’s positive or negative is just arbitrary they don’t exist we made them up. There chemical compounds. I’m not happy and that’s just because I’m not there’s nothing making me feel this way. No object no situation. Positives and negatives don’t exist. There’s 8 billion people and barely 100k therapists. None of the therapists I’ve seen have helped. None of the medicine I’m taking is working. The self help is just making me more anxious. There’s no point.