I'm writing my finals paper with two other guys. We're now 3 weeks until we're done, and it just sucks. I hate to toot my own horn, but frankly every single day I feel like I'm carrying. Nothing seems to happen unless I make it happen. The other two seem to only want to spend two hours acting like they're pulling their weight, and I can see them squirming to just get up and leave. It seems how long they commit to this is pretty much up to how disciplined I am that day, but it will mostly just be me doing actual writing and them twiddling their thumbs.

And I just.. Hate the quality of work they do put out. I'm a perfectionist and they're the opposite. Having to be nice to keep the peace, but I practically end up bargaining to rewrite most of it. Sometimes I have to poke holes in it to make that happen, and it's just so much extra effort for not much benefit - I think to myself I could've just done it myself, and it would've been better and easier. I'm trying to control pretty much every aspect of it now, because I have zero faith in my classmates abilities. I know they can tell I resent their work too, I'm trying to act nice, but I really feel like they have no clue what they're doing. It's not a group dynamic I enjoy. I don't like being the angry twat that tells you your work sucks. I don't think anyone likes that guy.

I am incredibly stressed by this project. I want it to do good, so I can have an easy finals exam. I also have a bunch of other stuff in my life I'm trying to dedicate mental and emotional energy to, and this project is just draining me to a point where I don't feel I can properly show up for the people around me. When I don't feel anxiety, I just feel angry - at them, or that I have to do this stupid work at all, which just seems pretty pointless to me, even though I'm pretty capable at it, it's just not how I want to spend my time.

What a freaking waste of time. Super demotivated at this point.

But like it has to be done. And I'm the one carrying. I can't let myself off the hook. I'm trying to be responsible, and get ahead of the insane crunch that it feels like we will need to make this shit passable at least. I've been trying to speak up about how we're constantly behind schedule too, but they're not really stressed. Which obviously pisses me off because they should be stressed, but they're not, presumably because they have me...

Any advice for how to get through this? I dread waking up every weekday doing this for the next three weeks. And the way it bothers me. I wish I could just be as carefree as my fellow group members, but I can't.