I just recently watched a video by Dr. K called Why Being Lonely is an Advantage.

One of the bits I want to focus on is finding solitude which is the kind of isolation that isn't as damaging as loneliness as it increases relaxation and contentment.

A bit of background about myself. Because most of the friends I had at the time didn't wanna do the things I wanted to do, I would usually do them myself. Sometimes it can feel lonely, especially in places where I see everyone else having a good time and I'm just sitting there by myself, wishing I could be apart of that. On the other end, the good thing about this is I can do exactly what I want at a moments notice and those moments I feel like I'd have more control over my leisure time.

Dr K has mentioned in that video about seeking out solitude intentionally, and I've been pondering about how one can exactly do just that in their day-to-day lives. The fundamental thing to remember is that you decrease hunger for isolation by reducing exposure to high arousal emotions. A couple of practical examples listed by Dr K is to reduce high arousal internet content (esp if it's negative high internet arousal) and intentionally spend time in solitude.

And there was one example Dr K gave, this is deciding exactly what you want to do in that moment i.e making a coffee, going to a park, sitting on a bench, reading a good book, etc. What I'm more interested in is what is the lifestyle of being intentionally solitary. I have been thinking of a couple of scenarios.

Let's say that you want to make some new friends and you decide to do that by going out to places and events or even hobby groups, all of which where socialization is encouraged. But maybe during those times, you feel like you don't currently fit in or haven't found your group that you can call your own. What would intentionally seeking out solitude look like here? (Or would there be no such thing as you're forced into isolation rather than choosing.). Do you just up and leave your environment and follow what you desire in that moment? Or just grabbing a bite to eat? Is the act of attempting to socialize even considered high arousal (as that's something you're trying to reduce to intentionally seek solitude.)?

There have been times where I went to places of socialization and I would talk to people. However, once I find myself in a situation of not talking to anyone, I would usually either pop in my headphones to listen to music I personally can jam to, or if I'm craving a certain type of food or just something to eat, I find a restaurant to enjoy myself there. Is this a proper example of seeking out solitude?

I don't have any more concrete examples to share, but if it comes to my mind, I'll update this post to include it as I like to explore this topic.