I think I have a serious problem with relationships. I am 27, male, with decent social intelligence and empathy, I would say, I had a couple of relationships, some of them in years. I started dating pretty late, probably due to low confidence and being bullied in high school. I overcame some of these demons, I became psychologist and find my fulfillment in helping others. I think I am at least decent.

Problem is, I fall in love really quickly and easily start obsessing. I cannot stand solitude. When I really like someone, I eventually start pushing so hard, they break. I am not controlling in a relationship, but in the beggining, I am acting like crazy. All my longer relationships were with girls, who kind of needed "saving". I think care giving is the only way I feel useful. I can be very supportive, listen and understand. I even think girls like me, but than I start pushing for relationship too hard and lose them.

I should be okay with who I am, I have decent careeer, I am pretty smart, I know, what I want from life. The only problem is, that I feel really lonely and always push for relationship and fail or stay in unhappy one. It is probably important for context, that my family is really problematic and far away. Both my mum and sister have BPD, so that probably affected me too... I don´t think I am like this, I am good with people, but still always feel lonely and disconnected. I can be there for others, but I am objectively lonely myself. I lost couple of girls who I really cared about and it hurt really badly. I am terrified by the idea that I lost someone I could have been happy with because of this problem.

I had really low self esteem, which is a lot better now. I am trying really hard to accept and love myself and I feel like I am myself as much as never before. But when it comes to relationships, it drags me back to depression and being needy and desperate. I want to overcome this, it is just really hard and I don´t have many people around myself. It is really hard for me to be alone and I tend to jump from one relationship to another.