When it comes to things I want to get or do that's within my own power, I prefer to do it alone without asking anybody for help. I was raised to be self sufficient and independent, which has helped me develop well in a lot of ways. The issue is that it's also taught me to rely only on myself, and if I want something done I need to do it myself or nobody else will. But then, I put too much on myself and suffer in silence.

When I ask people if they'd like to do something, more often than not I get rejected. I know nobody's obligated to give me what I want just because I want it, so I don't get upset with them or guilt them or do anything but accept the rejection and not push any further. I'm glad I can accept rejection well and don't want to change it, but I want to ask for things in a way that doesn't feel like people doing me a favor that's a burden on them.

I'm used to prioritizing other people's desires and feelings over mine. When I express my own feelings, I often get told to not feel that, or that they or someone else feels differently than me and I need to be mindful of that. I try my best to be attentive to the feelings of others around me, and go along with what they'd like. But when I try to express my own feelings in the same way, I often feel dismissed and invalidated. It's not as simple as throwing a fit when I get told no, it's that I want to express myself more and trying to not let the rejection send my crawling into a lonely pit of isolation in my room all the time. Not to be dramatic or anything lol.

Anybody who's read this far, I appreciate you and stay safe.