I have worked with a lot of people starting up practices and one of the questions that often pops up is "should I offer free coaching sessions?" in the beginning. I am not sure if life coaching schools encourages people to do this or people get this idea from others on the internet.

I think it's good to practice coaching everywhere you go when starting for sure and getting up in front of people, doing talks, coaching people in talks, but there's something completely different that happens when you charge versus offering for free - and knowing what I know now . . .I think it's important that you charge something when starting out . . .even a nominal rate - as I'll go into below.

I started off doing free educational presentations for Meetup groups and at community centers and often found them to be the worst groups to work with. . . at the community centers, it was often like the people were only there because there was nothing better to do that night - so it was more like they were there for entertainment but not really looking for anything. The Meetup groups were similar with people looking for a source of entertainment but often people were there because they were thinking that the group I was hosting would attract more "conscious" people and they were there thinking they might meet a better potential person to go on a date with. . .not so much to learn anything new at the group that was being presented. Of course, this wasn't to say there were people who were interested in the material as well. . .just a really small number. I remember even going as far as starting out a health presentation saying "who here came out thinking this might be a good venue to meet someone to go on a date with" and there was some laughs of acknowledgment from the crowd. . .

A mentor of mine said that these free groups were useful to the degree you could practice saying outrageous things you're terrified to say to people because it didn't matter if you blew off a crowd and a good place to get over my fears - and if I was willing to say what I was terrified of saying - there would be better people right after that to talk with.

This is perhaps the real value of the free coaching sessions - not to convert them to paying - but rather to practice saying all the stuff you're terrified of saying until there's no "emotional charge" associated with saying those things anymore and let go of attachments. I used to have a lot of "charge" about someone asking me in front of a big group about my credibility and training. As a health and life coach, I hadn't gone through years of school, had no fancy certificates but I'd trained with one of the top naturopathic doctors and personal development mentor in North America (in different fields) with some of the most brilliant and common sense pieces of awareness that weren't even being taught at the top naturopathic colleges, dieticians schools, and holistic health colleges in North America and certainly not to allopathic / western medical doctors in schools, or at Tony Robbins or Marianne Williamson seminars and I knew that I was holding onto some pieces of gold which could potentially produce even better results for my clients if they were willing to do the work, than they would get if they went to a naturopathic doctor. But I still didn't know what to say and thought if I told the truth about my training, I'd lose the group and people wouldn't listen to me and I wouldn't get any clients.

It took me awhile but eventually I got the courage up to say in front of a good sized group - "many health practitioners will tell you that school is less than 10% of what you need to know to be a really effective practitioner and it's actually the extensive real world clinical experience and foundational awareness pieces you learn that has someone be a good practitioner. . . if you need to see a bunch of letters and degrees after my name I'm probably not the right person to work with or listen to. I like the medical system and have a lot of respect for doctors and think they do great work out in the world, but I am also really happy I didn't spend years in medical school, because I'd have a lot more to unlearn to get the results I get now with people!"

It was terrifying saying this but something really profound happened. . .some people were offended and walked out (and that was fine because they wouldn't ever be my clients anyways) but the others who weren't were really intrigued, wanted to know more, and we could have a "real" conversation and the percentage of clients from talks immediately went right up. Also - I only had to say this thing I was scared of maybe twice and strangely enough, I never got asked this question about my credibility and background ever again - even when doing large groups. It was almost as if, when I was willing to say what I was terrified about, I didn't have to do it again (like the Universe recognized I'd learned a lesson so no point in giving me the lesson again).

I've read from many online say you can convert free to paying if you provide enough value. I've found that happens extremely rarely and almost always - once I'd established a free coaching relationship, that was the expectation (they were basically looking for the free stuff and not taking it all that seriously) and it was way faster to get completely new people and start off by charging them money right from the start.

Also -with the free stuff, people didn't take me seriously. . .I could say the most profound things to them, but they wouldn't hear it or take action (which didn't feel good for me and more like I was spinning my wheels and doing a lot of navel gazing). The reason they weren't getting any value is that they hadn't exchanged any value. . .this world works on a value-exchange principle - so of course, they weren't going to get any value back for themselves.

Knowing what I know now, I'd probably just go right for getting paid clients right off the bat and it would have saved me a lot of time.

I think it serves people better when they pay something. . .they get more out of it for themselves and will take it more seriously. If you're all jammed up about asking for money - that's a good thing. . .just an opportunity to work through something new. . .it's only scary because there are some unknowns and some information that is missing. The more of blindspots one can see, the easier things get.

Prolonging going through this pain of asking for money for services "later" won't make it any easier. . .there still will be the same amount of pain down the road waiting for you - but I get that that's just what some people have to do.

I suggest if you're having challenges doing this piece around becoming adept at asking for money and not getting results, maybe find someone to work with who is good at having these money conversations with potential clients to help you work through these things.

Contrary to what I thought, people out in the world are in a lot of pain and would love someone to help them through their challenges and have no problem paying for coaching if you really take the time to listen and present the offer in a way that they can hear.