I've made this cake before so I do consider it a safe food, but my family talked me into mixing the baking soda with honey, when traditionally I would have added the soda later on. The honey is supposed to activate the soda and I'm not sure if it was getting activated before or not. When I added it there was some sort of a reaction, the dough started to bubble and became orange. When I added it to everything else the dough had a strange hard consistency.

The more I worked on the cake the more I grew to resent it. Everything kept going wrong although at this point it was probably due to my own anxiety and negativity. The cake layers didn't even rise which is supposed to be the whole point of using soda. I'm so frustrated because now I'm terrified of trying it. I keep thinking that because everything kept going wrong eating it will go wrong as well. And also that activating the soda caused some sort of a bad chemical reaction, or even that I'm allergic to activated soda even though I'm fine with regular one.

I don't want to ruin Easter with my HA. I could gather all of my mental resources to try the damm cake and deal with the following panic attack. If I do this today tomorrow I can eat the cake without issues. But what if it's more than a panic attack and I die because I wanted to eat some cake :'(