Hey Town People -

The "Sound of Music" auditions did not go as planned. As you may have heard, the theatre burned up in a beautiful tragic display due to me trying to set off fireworks backstage. We had a little party the night before and had carried it on through the next day.

You may not believe in me as your play producer anymore, but look, I am willing to make you a deal. If someone gets me another tiger, preferably a cub, then I'll build a world class theatre, the likes you have never seen.

Unfortunately, this means that "Scientology: Cruise is God" and "Crack Koalas from California" are postponed to some future date.

I have made calls for a 3rd tiger so the boys can have another friend to play with and if it's a girl, then hopefully we'll have a farm going on and have added security.

u/DatPoodleLady Carmen is also partially to blame. She forecasted clear skies and a full moon, and it rained, so we had to move the fireworks indoors.

u/Kitty_Burglar Krystal was partying with us, but she was passed out, so don't blame her.